If anyone has seen Playing Nice on ITV and ITVX, they will already know of the dramatic twists and turns that take place in that story that I will refer to in this article. However, if you have not been graced by James Norton’s presence on your screen in his first major series since the extremely tense Happy Valley, then here follows a summary for you.
The Premise of Playing Nice
Playing Nice is a dramatic series released at the beginning of the year, which relates to two families who have had somewhat of a switch-a-roo of children. This switch appears to have happened unbeknownst to them whilst their children were still in the hospital. Basically, Pete and Maddie end up going home with Theo, who is Miles and Lucy’s son, and Miles and Lucy go home with David, who is Pete and Maddie’s son.
The parties find this out when the children are still relatively young. I cannot quite recall their age, but they seem to be about 5 years old at the time of the story. What ensues is nothing short of awkward, but both sets of parents seem to start off on the right foot with open communication and an agreement that they would each like to be in the other child’s life.
The Drama Unfolds: Legal Battles and Misunderstandings
Unfortunately, matters seem to fall apart when Miles and Lucy try to go behind Pete and Maddie’s back to obtain a Child Arrangements Order to have both children moved into their full-time care.
It turns out that Miles and Lucy’s social niceties were a platform for them to score figurative points in the battle to have both children in their care.
Remarkably, in this series, an awful lot of legal action appears to be taken by both Miles and Lucy without Pete and Maddie knowing a thing. For instance, in the series Miles and Lucy were able to insert their names on Theo’s birth certificate without Pete and Maddie’s knowledge. Absolutely nothing is made of the fact that they obtained Theo’s DNA without the consent of Pete or Maddie, who were both Theo’s registered parents at the time.
Furthermore, Pete and Maddie were brashly informed by their Solicitor that they failed to attend mediation when neither of them had heard that Miles and Lucy wanted mediation to take place. There is a reference in the series to mediation having taken place at Miles and Lucy’s household with the Nanny for David fulfilling the role as Mediator.
I need to be clear here. A valid mediation session absolutely cannot take place without a participating person’s knowledge and without a trained Mediator actually being present.
Communication Breakdowns: A Critical Turning Point
Whilst the primary storyline may be somewhat farfetched in the fact that babies were swapped in the hospital at birth, and so much legal action was able to take place without the parents of one of the children in question being aware, there are a lot of elements of the series which unfortunately reign true.
Those who watched the series and read my very brief summary of the show will know that the parties seemed to get on quite well when they were seemingly honest with each other. Furthermore, there were minimal arguments between Pete and Maddy when they communicated openly with each other. The figurative cracks started to show when Pete took actions without discussing them with Maddie first and chooses to keep the arrangements he was making with Miles and Lucy a secret. Furthermore, the drama really came to a head when the parties found out that Miles and Lucy were taking actions without having communicated their intentions first which resulted in the parties being pitted against each other in a very tense legal battle.
When the adults in this matter stopped communicating with each other, all hell broke loose. The parents started to feel backstabbed and started to try and one-up each other, and during this time in the series, the children themselves very much took a backseat in comparison to the parents own battle.
In this way, the drama in the series was all too close to home.
The Importance of Open Communication in Child Arrangements
It is very easy for conversations regarding child arrangements to turn argumentative. It is an unfortunate reality that parents that once trusted each other implicitly will start using information from the other parties past to attempt to paint a poor picture of the other party as a parent. When such acrimony begins, the children’s best interests start to take a back seat.
In the vast majority of cases, the children’s best interests are achieved when both parents can communicate openly with each other, and they are able to trust each other to parent properly.
The couples in Playing Nice stopped trusting each other, and in their ensuing arguments, the children found themselves in the firing line.
In reality, when parents do communicate openly with each other and they are honest with each other about where they disagree, child arrangements are much easier and far less painful to negotiate and ultimately settle.
It is unrealistic to expect separating parents to completely agree as to where their children should spend their time. Ultimately, parents who have gone from having their child spend all of their time with them to only spending half of their time with them are bound to find that very difficult.
However, when those difficulties are openly expressed, professionals such as a Mediator or a Family Solicitor can advise the aggrieved parties in relation to the realities of what they can expect to achieve legally and also what is perhaps best for them and their family moving forward.
The Role of Mediation and Family Solicitors in Resolving Disputes
In the show, the parties bypass mediation, which is also behaviour indicative of someone who does not wish to communicate as they only wish to further their own agenda.
This, again, is all too relevant to proceedings as a Family Law Practitioner. Often, a parent will have tried their best to reach an agreement with the other parent outside of Court. They will have reached the end of their patience and will want a Judge to adjudicate as soon as possible to confirm how their children should spend their time.
This step takes the matter of child arrangements out of the parents’ hands and puts that decision firmly in the embrace of the Court. Ultimately, the Court will make a decision that both parents will have to live with whether they like it or not.
Conclusion: What Playing Nice Teaches Us About Child Arrangements
Obviously, in the context of Playing Nice, a happy outcome was achieved. Though I hope to never deal with a case that mirrors the facts of this ITV drama, I do like to think that firmer legal advice and a focused collaborative approach between Lawyers could have avoided a great deal of angst for all parties involved.
How We Can Help
At Bridge McFarland LLP, we offer specialist family and child law services, including child arrangements, divorce, and public law proceedings.
Our team of experienced childcare solicitors includes solicitors who are Children Panel Members and can therefore represent not only parents but also children themselves. Children can instruct us through their Children’s Guardian employed by CAFCASS (the ‘Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service’) or directly if they are of sufficient age and have the mental capacity and understanding to do so.
We are situated in easy-to-reach locations and can help clients across Lincolnshire, Nottinghamshire, Yorkshire and Humberside. If you think that we can help you or someone close to you we will be happy to arrange a preliminary meeting, just get in touch.
About the Author
Luke Brown – Family Law Solicitor at Bridge McFarland LLP
Luke Brown is a skilled Family Law Solicitor at Bridge McFarland LLP, specialising in child law, divorce, and family disputes. With a commitment to providing practical and empathetic legal advice, Luke helps clients navigate the complexities of family matters with sensitivity and professionalism. His expertise in child arrangements and his focus on achieving amicable solutions make him a trusted advisor for families in need of guidance.
To read more about Luke Brown, visit Luke’s profile here.
