I want to brag on JESUS for a minute. ✨
Most of my life, I had serious panic attacks in the shower. Due to deep trauma and harm I experienced as a child and teen — specifically in the shower — that space became a prison of fear.
When I married James, he did everything he could think of to help me feel safe. For years, I would only shower if he was home, sitting on the toilet lid, curtain half-open, talking to me the whole time. I’d rush through the water with tears streaming down my face. It was unbearable — but I was surviving.
But JESUS didn’t call me to just survive. He came to set me FREE. 🕊️
For about a year now, I’ve been on a massive healing journey. The shower was one of the biggest things I wanted to conquer. I prayed constantly — asking God to remove the fear my body still remembered.
We started slow. James would sit just outside in our bedroom instead of the bathroom. I brought in my Amazon Dot and played Christian music.
Then, after more time… James didn’t have to be nearby. I was okay just knowing he was in the apartment.
Then one day, he wasn’t home… and I still wanted to shower.
So I tried it.
And I was okay.
Actually — I was more than okay.
💧 In May, I showered almost every morning. Most days, it was just me, Jonah, and JESUS.
Joe had bought me some fancy Bath & Body Works soap for Christmas, and I LOVE it. It smells so good that now I linger in the shower — just soaking in the warmth, the fragrance, and the PEACE God has given me.
These days, I dedicate a full half hour just to shower time. That doesn’t even include getting dressed or doing my hair — it’s simply time in the water, singing songs to my Audience of One, and praising Him for the freedom to stand in total peace.
There are so many of us who’ve been through horrible things. And if we don’t talk about them — we stay bound to them.
Your story might be the key to unlock someone else’s prison. 🔑
God has a purpose for my pain. And I fully intend to live it out.
If I can be a voice of hope for even one woman who’s ready to overcome trauma — then I say, YES LORD.
The same God who parted the Red Sea can part the waters in your life too.
He’s not done with your story. 💕
🙏 A Prayer of Gratitude for Freedom
Dear Jesus,
Thank You for setting me free.
Thank You for never leaving me in that prison of fear, even when I thought I’d never escape it.
You saw every tear I cried in the shower… and You never looked away.
You gently walked with me through each step of healing, reminding me I wasn’t alone.
When I was too scared to believe in freedom, You believed for me.
You gave me songs in the silence, peace in the panic, and joy where there used to be dread.
Lord, I don’t take this freedom lightly. I praise You for it — I worship You for it — and I dedicate it back to You.
Let my story give hope to someone else.
Let my voice echo the truth that You are still healing, still rescuing, and still rewriting stories.
I am Yours, Lord. Use my testimony for Your glory.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.
#traumahealing #JesusIsLord #traumarecovery #WhenGodSpeaks
