A Life Update… Matters of the Heart

I don’t even know where to start with this post, it’s been such a long time since I last updated this blog. This post isn’t about books but I hope you’ll stick around and read it anyway. I hope to be back reading and blogging about books very soon, I’m slowly trying to find my way back to normality.

In January my husband had a heart attack at work. It was a normal Thursday and he was fit and healthy… until he wasn’t. There were no warning signs at all. His manager called me to say they were waiting on an ambulance and he would come and take me to the hospital. It was a little while later that I got to see my husband to find out that he’d survived a massive heart attack and also the cardiac arrest that he had in the ambulance. It was such a shock. He’s a fighter though and just a three days later he was home from hospital and we were getting our heads around what had happened and how our life had changed. It had been, at that point in time, the worst couple of days of our lives but we got through it.

And then twelve days later he had a cardiac arrest at home in front of me and I really thought I’d lost him. I woke up just a few seconds before him and then he sat bolt upright, got out of bed making an horrific noise, staggered a few steps and by the time he hit the floor he wasn’t breathing. I dialled 999 and managed to do CPR for the five or so minutes it took for paramedics to get to us. They took over and I was ushered out of the room. The police came as well as paramedics and they were so kind to me. They helped me get dressed as I was only wearing a nightie, they sat with me while the six paramedics fought to save my husband’s life, and then they drove me to the hospital. It was an hour and a half before I found out that he was still alive, but also that he was desperately ill. He was put on life support in ICU and we just had to wait and see. I was warned about all the eventualities and outcomes that we could be facing, it was beyond horrific. It was hours and hours before they had him stable enough that I could see him. He had tubes everywhere, he was covered in bruises but he looked better than he had when I was doing CPR on him. That was the worst day and night I have ever lived through. Thank goodness for my neighbour who so kindly came and sat with me until the early hours once I was home from hospital.

The next day they woke him up and he was able to breathe on his own and he could communicate. He knew who I was, which was the most incredible feeling for me as I’d been warned that he may not recognise me. He was very confused but I could see that he was still him. The confusion lasted a few days but gradually he began to orientate himself and to understand a bit more of what was going on. From then he had another couple of weeks in hospital in an acute care ward and wasn’t allowed to come home until he had an ICD (internal defibrillater) fitted.

The last few months have all been about him trying to recover from everything and to start building himself back up again. He has been incredible, so strong and focused and I’m prouder of him than I can even put into words. I’m still struggling with PTSD and the anxiety after what happened but I’m getting stronger all the time. Life will never be quite the way it was before but we need to find a new normal and for me that means books! I’ve been slowly finding my way back to reading, and I’m starting to find my love of books is coming back now so I’m hoping to be blogging regularly again very soon.

I still can’t comprehend that I helped save my husband’s life, that I did CPR and it was successful. I actually learnt CPR when I was a child, around 8 or 9 years old, as part of my swimming and lifesaving lessons. I’ve never even thought about it since but somehow that Tuesday morning my brain snapped into gear and I knew what to do. I would urge everyone reading this to please learn CPR. There is a great fifteen minute video called RevivR on the British Heart Foundation website that will teach you all you need to know. I know it’s scary to contemplate that you might ever need to know how to do it, but one day you might be in my shoes and knowing what to do means your brain can almost work on autopilot. 80% of cardiac arrests happen out of hospital and of those only around 10% of people survive but knowing how to do CPR can make a massive difference. #EveryMinuteMatters