When it comes to Jimmy Kimmel’s closing monologue at Disney’s upfront event, no one’s safe. And, yes, that means you, too, babies.
On Tuesday, the Jimmy Kimmel Live host once again closed out Disney’s annual upfront event, initially joining the event virtually from Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, where he was awaiting the birth of his first grandchild.
Kimmel then proceeded to offer the baby’s naming rights to the advertisers in the room, even bringing in Dr. Dre for the bit and adding a Lion-King-inspired jingle full of brand names as examples. (Because when it comes to emotional childhood trauma from being named after a brand, Hakuna Matata, right?)
Of course, the late-night host was just joking about being virtual. After the baby-naming bit, he stepped onstage and said the virtual segment was almost cut after Seth Meyers offered naming rights to his kid at the NBCUniversal upfront earlier in the week.
“I thought about killing [the segment], but then I also thought about Dr. Dre killing me for making him drive to Hollywood and put on makeup for no reason,” Kimmel said.
The Jimmy Kimmel Live host then proceeded to roast everyone, including legacy broadcasters, competitors like Netflix, and even Disney CEO Bob Iger, who helped kick off the Disney upfront for the second year in a row.
“Bob Iger has passionately led Disney for 20 years, and reluctantly for three,” Kimmel joked in his monologue, later adding, “You think Bob gives a shit about The Rookie Season 8? Bob doesn’t care if this whole room turns into Avengers Endgame dust!”
Kimmel also set his sights on ABC, which ordered only one new show for broadcast, 911: Nashville.
“At least CBS and Fox are making shows. ABC—we ordered one new show, and it’s a spinoff of an old show. Which really begs the question, ‘What are we doing here?’” Kimmel said. “We risked our lives flying into Newark for this?”
See more of Kimmel’s best jokes below:
On NBCU ad sales chief Mark Marshall saying his company had “the greatest collection of content that has ever been assembled”:
“I guess Mark has never heard of Pornhub. Although…,” Kimmel said, zooming in on a photo of Marshall smiling as Glinda from Wicked. “Based on the expression on his face … I feel like he has.”
