Bad At Flirting
Alright, let’s recap the last 5 seconds:
I asked, “Excuse me, is the line always this long?”
Then she goes:
“Yup, best coffee in town!”
Pretty sure she looked me in the eyes for an extra two seconds with that warm smile.
Or is this just my imagination again?
I mean, there’s really no way to know for sure.
So, why not say something witty and test the waters?
Maybe a comment on the current cold weather.
That isn’t witty, though.
Unless I say it ironically…
Something like, “We’re up to snow good out there.”
Jesus, man, get it together.
This is not the way to impress an attractive woman.
And she sure is beautiful.
Some lucky schmuck will get to spend his days with her.
Oh, how I wish it were me.
She totally seems like a dog person.
Maybe I should go buy a dog and then come back here with it.
For the love of God, man, get it together.
Just say something.
Anything.
Oh, wow, I think I just caught a whiff of her hair.
Smells really nice.
Like a coconut or some kind of fruit salad.
Why can’t I have nice-smelling hair?
Maybe I should ask what shampoo she uses.
Dude, that’s actually a little creepy.
Who do you think you are?
Oh, hey, beautiful stranger. Any thoughts on hygiene products?
No.
This is your opportunity to actually say the right thing.
To not put your foot in your mouth for once.
What would George Clooney say?
Something charming, no doubt.
So just man up and get the words out.
Be normal.
Ok, I’ve got this.
Stepping up to the plate.
Take a big breath and speak.
Here we go…
“Excuse me.”
“Yes?”
“So, how about that Elon Musk nazi salute?”
(sigh)
