An Easter letter may just be better than a Christmas letter!
Dear Family and Friends,
Happy Resurrection Season! Spring has arrived this month at the Wavering home, reminding us that it’s time to take down the Christmas decorations. As Frank climbs on the roof to unplug Santa, I am taking a moment to unplug as well. How restful it is to sit and catch you all up on the recent activities of our growing brood—Frank, Patience (that’s me), Haley, Charles, Don, and our newest member, Skiff, the miniature emotional support horse who helps me avoid a nervous breakdown.
This will be our last family newsletter. As always, the Waverings are a busy bunch, and it’s getting harder and harder to keep up with everyone! We can barely believe that our eldest Haley (20) is now a junior at Future Dominion College. You may remember Haley as our little overachiever, learning to read Greek at age 2 and start her own sourdough business before she turned 4. Haley has long dreamed of finding a way to monetize her desire to serve God as a missionary in an impoverished country. Imagine our surprise this year when she told us her career goals had changed. “Mom and Dad,” Haley said, “I feel the Lord calling me to become the first governor of Canada.” I must admit Frank and I had our questions about this, but Haley has already changed her major from Sports Evangelism to Applied Christian Imperialism.
Charles (19) is also quite busy. In the fall, after a slight incident with a neighbor’s pet, we asked Charles to start praying about what kind of a career God might be calling him to away from our home. The Lord spoke, and Charles decided to become a regular podcaster from the trailer in the backyard. I have not listened to this podcast because I don’t know how, and Frank says that is for the best. We are praying fervently that Charles will soon cast his pod somewhere else. I hope I don’t need to add that we are so proud of this young man and literally can’t wait for his next step.
Some of you may have noticed that we now spell our third child’s name with three letters (Don) rather than four (Dawn). Don (18) has told us that, for our relationship to continue peacefully, Frank and I must tell Charles to stop deadnaming Don on his podcast. Also, we must be careful to use Don’s correct pronouns, which are difficult for me to remember (so I stick to proper nouns). The consequence of not following through with these requests is that I must deliver Don’s supper to Don’s room every night so that Don can digest food without the burden of our transphobia causing reflux. Since Frank is usually glued to SportsCenter, I must confess that, most evenings, Skiff and I are the only ones at the dinner table. This is peaceful but can be messy, and I have to keep Skiff out of the wine.
We do have some good news. Frank’s brother Dave and his wife Hilda have been pardoned, released, and are away on a J6 theme cruise to Panama. Also, now that my sister Claire’s pastor husband Dan has decided not to marry his online therapist girlfriend (who turned out to be much older in person), he has been welcomed back as pastor of his former church. He and Claire plan to do an inspirational podcast about the rekindling of their love. Will you pray for this rekindling to actually happen? It’s hard to imagine at this point, but Charles says scandal and failure make better podcasts anyway.
We know what you’re thinking. Did Haley really learn to read Greek at age 2? Yes, and we thought at the time that surely she would grow up to be a Bible translator or a homeschooling mom. But I have learned that the only two things I can count on in this life are the Lord and a very affectionate miniature horse.
Frank is also some comfort when he is not on FanDuel.
Here are some prayer requests for the Waverings:
For Haley to handle her disappointment well if the U.S. doesn’t annex Canada.
For Dan and Claire to ask Charles to produce their Born Again Love podcast back in Texas. For Charles to move there with them.
For Dan and Claire to truly rekindle the beautiful spark of their love. Even while Charles is living with them.
For Don to come out of Don’s room more often. I do miss my Don.
For Dave and Hilda to come back from Panama. They sure have been there a while.
For my generalized anxiety disorder, and Skiff’s drinking problem.
For peace in the world, and more miraculously in our home.
For Frank to find a new hobby. Such as saving money.
Well, that wraps it up for our crazy bunch. We can’t guess what fresh troubles another year or even another week might bring. We know for certain, though, that whatever happens, someone somewhere will be profiting. May it be all of you!
With a little bit of prayer and a lot of anxiety,
Patience Wavering
M. Elizabeth Carter is a counselor and writer living in Alabama.
