So, guess what? Yours truly, the epitome of brilliance, decided to bless the world with a masterpiece in December. I wrote and published a book, and it’s been sitting there on Amazon, gathering dust like a forgotten relic in an ancient tomb. I am here to remind you of your grave sin – your blatant disregard for my literary genius.
I mean, really, not a single click? Not even a courtesy glance? It’s like I’m shouting into the void while everyone’s too busy updating their Instagram stories. And don’t even get me started on social media. I posted that link and not a single one of you clicked it. It makes me wonder, and question all my relationships. I would buy a book for my friends if they published one, I support a lot of my writer friends with their work, but I am not getting the same grace. Not a single page turned to enjoy the plot that almost triggered brain aneurism to put it together. Am I not worthy? Maybe I’m just too intimidating with my towering presence and goddess-like physique. Or perhaps, my words are just too powerful for mere mortals to handle. Who knows? All I know is that my book is languishing in digital purgatory, and it’s a tragedy of Shakespearean proportions.
Now, I’m not one to beg, but come on, people! Throw a starving artist a bone here. It’s only £4.88 – a small price to pay for a ticket to literary greatness. I’m talking Pulitzer Prizes, bestseller lists, the whole nine yards. But, if you’d rather sip your latte and scroll through cat memes, be my guest. Just know that with every passing day, a little piece of my soul dies a dramatic death. So, to all the book-loving saints out there, please, I implore you, to buy my book on Amazon. And, feel free to leave a review – even if it’s just one star. At this point, I’ll take what I can get.
The gauntlet has been thrown, and the challenge issued. Will you rise to the occasion and become part of literary history? Or will you be condemned to a life of eternal regret? The choice is yours. To all the people that I have wronged, I am sorry except for you Nancy, you can kiss my ass. Thank you for being my emotional dumpster, you may go on with your day but may the thought of not buying my book gnaw your mind and drive you to insanity. Remember, fame and glory await those who dare to click that buy button. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
