Every strong relationship requires solid communication. You need to have open conversations with your partner. At the beginning of my relationship with my wife, this was something we struggled with. At the same time, you need to be aware of how the wrong words can damage your relationship. Certain things you say can be hurtful, even if you don’t mean it to be taken that way. Rather than using this type of language, there are better ways to express yourself. So, here is a look at five things you should NEVER say to your partner and some things you should say instead.
1. “You Always” or “You Never”
Using absolute statements like “You always” or “You never” can make your partner feel attacked. These phrases generalize behavior and leave no room for discussion. Your partner may become defensive instead of focusing on the issue at hand. Instead, try saying, “I’ve noticed this happening often. Can we talk about it?” This approach keeps the conversation open and constructive.
2. “I Don’t Care”
Telling your partner that you don’t care can come across as dismissive and hurtful. It makes them feel unimportant and undervalued. Even if the topic doesn’t interest you, showing some level of engagement is essential. Instead of shutting down the conversation, try saying, “I may not fully understand, but I’d love to hear more about why this matters to you.” This shows support and strengthens your emotional connection.
3. “Calm Down”
Telling someone to “calm down” often has the opposite effect, making them more upset. It invalidates their feelings and makes them feel unheard. A better approach is to acknowledge their emotions and offer support. Instead, try saying, “I can see that you’re upset. Let’s talk about it when you’re ready.” Taking this approach will validate their feelings and reassure them that you’re there to listen.
4. “It’s Not a Big Deal”
Dismissing your partner’s concerns by saying “It’s not a big deal” can make them feel like their feelings don’t matter. What may seem small to you could be significant to them, which is why this is on the list of things you should never say. Instead, acknowledge their perspective by saying, “I see this is important to you. Let’s talk about it.” This creates space for an open dialogue and mutual understanding.
5. “If You Loved Me, You Would…”
Using love as leverage in a relationship is manipulative and unfair. This phrase pressures your partner and makes them feel like their love is conditional. Instead of making demands, express your needs honestly. Try saying, “I would really appreciate it if you could do this for me because it would make me feel loved.” Doing this allows you to communicate how you feel without the guilt trip.
Speak with Love and Understanding
Learning how to communicate with your partner can be tough. Words have the power to strengthen or weaken relationships. So, be mindful of what you say. Every word you use has the power to deepen your connection or drive a wedge between you.
Read More
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