Everything but Money – Review and Giveaway
“Everything but Money is a practical, inspirational book that teaches readers to uncover their money story and empowers them to create a new, healthier and happier relationship with money” – Jessica Moorhouse.
Simple. Effective. Motivational too.
I’ve shared on my site many times over; nobody really needs more personal finance and investing advice.
Here are some examples:
Why you may not need more money advice.
There is no perfect financial plan.
There are probably 80,000+ books on the shelves that say the same things.
Like Jessica Moorhouse, author of Everything but Money, and I believe: no top-ten nor top-five financial tips are really that useful until you understand your “whys” behind your money management.
For many, getting to the root of those “whys” is an easier path than others. For some, talking about money let alone thinking about money could trigger feelings of shame, guilt, remorse and just simply put – a whole set of downright bad feelings. To coach you past the negative and to get to the other side of healing your emotional scar tissue – this is what Everything but Money tries to do.
Author Jessica Moorhouse was kind enough to send me a copy to read recently and after my Q&A with her in today’s post, I’ll offer you a chance to win an autographed copy of her book directly from her…
Everything but Money – what is it about?
Part 1 is all about unlocking your feelings about money. For those that have not yet undertaken this exercise on their own, I think Jessica framed it well here in just one example of many:
“Have you ever been out with your friends and thought to yourself, Wait…is everyone doing better than I am?”
There are feelings of rational guilt and irrational guilt that you might want to unearth such consistently overspending on your budget (could be rational guilt) vs. spending money on things you enjoy, can afford and value (irrational guilt).
This part of her book closes with some reflection-based exercises for some folks to consider – linking some of your early money memories to feelings.
If Part 1 was about looking at the past, Part 2 is all about tapping into more modern-day money relationships and practices, including some toxic behaviours you might want to overcome. Those include but are not limited to:
- Denial – avoid money conversations (with yourself) and with others at all costs.
- Rejection
- Underspending
- Excessive Risk Aversion.
There are also risky behaviours to be mindful of on the other side of the continuum:
- Chasing hot topics or tips due to FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)
- Workaholism – chasing the mighty dollar, to what end?
- Hoarding (money)
- Overspending and/or compulsive spending disorders
- Financial infidelity – lying or hiding money matters on purpose.
Some quotable moments from the book:
“The lessons we learn about money in childhood, even indirectly, can stay with us for the rest of our lives whether they are helpful or not.”
And…
“The only way to craft a brand-new money story is to deconstruct your current one.”
Part 3 of Everything but Money stitches together some of the content from the previous sections to discuss our biases, the lack thereof fairness and access when it comes to money, and the ongoing plight of women – who continue to face a great deal of gender discrimination despite some progress made in recent generations.
Finally, Part 4 includes “road to recovery” topics and solutions for individuals that have dealt with or are still dealing with fear, shame, anxiety, stress or any multitude of feelings when it comes to money subjects. I appreciated the connection Jessica made in her book, a few times, including in this part writing:
“Mental health and financial health are often related. Improving your mental health might be the first step you need to take to get your financial life on track.”
Jessica rightly reminds us that while money is a valuable tool, it’s not a tool unto itself that is going to make us really that happy. Money can make life easier, but it may not make our lifelong journey as beneficial nor as healthy as the following will in aggregate:
- Positive emotions/good mental wellness
- Engagement and mindfulness
- Positive, healthy, relationships
- Purpose and meaning to our day
- A sense of accomplishment and worth
- Good nutrition
- Sound sleep
Good stuff.
Now for the Q&A!
Jessica, thanks for sharing your book with me – for those that might not know about your financial journey, can you share some details?
It started all the way back in 2010 when my older sister introduced me to the world of personal finance blogs. I found it so fascinating that real people were sharing their incomes, spending, and net worths so openly for the world to see. I was hooked!
I decided to start my own blog in 2011 when I found myself craving a creative outlet after finishing film school and wanted to be able to share what I was learning about money with other 20-somethings in the same spot. But in 2015, that’s when everything changed for me. I hit publish on my podcast (now called the More Money Podcast) and that platform is what really helped me connect with people in a different way. It’s allowed me to interview some amazing experts in the field, but also let me expand my hobby to a side hustle to a full-time career.
I left my corporate job in marketing in 2017 to make a go of running my own financial education business, and although there have been many ups and downs over the course of these past 8 years, I feel so lucky to do what I do. I get to teach people from all over the world on how to improve their financial lives through my podcast, YouTube channel, social media, public speaking, and now my book. It’s the best job in the world.
How did this passion for personal finance and investing start? What has kept you interested in it, all these years?
It started with reading about other people’s financial journeys, then expanded into wanting to know everything there was about money. I just couldn’t get enough of it. I wanted to know it all, because the more I learned, the more I was able to build my own financial confidence as well as hopefulness for the future. Now, my big motivation is being able to teach others and see their lives improve. That’s what drives me every single day.
You know, at first it was seeing the transformation in myself, but now it’s seeing the transformation in other people’s financial lives, especially people who always thought they weren’t “good” at money or believed that things like learning to invest were too complex for them. Being able to see them overcome these mental barriers and then do what they thought they weren’t capable of is what brings me so much joy in what I do.
Jessica, like I mentioned above, there are just soooo many personal finance nd investing books. Same old stuff: invest in indexed funds, contribute to your TFSA, watch out for OAS claw backs, etc. What really prompted you to write this book after we met at a Canadian Personal Finance Conference all those years ago?
We did!
I’ve been telling everyone that it’s not the book I expected to write, but it turned out to be the book I needed to write. For myself and others. You see, my initial pitch to my publisher was a more traditional how-to money book because that’s what I thought they were looking for. But I had one line in my book proposal that touched on topics like trauma and behaviour and their connection to money, and that’s what got my publisher really interested. So I pitched a new proposal all about your relationship with money and the internal and external barriers we all face on our journeys to financial freedom, and within a few weeks I got my book deal. That was the easy part though. I am by no means a therapist, psychologist or behavioural finance expert. I’m a money expert! But this book was, well, about everything but money.
But, despite my imposter syndrome, I’m also someone who works really well under pressure with a deadline. I had 10 months to write this book and I was going to deliver my manuscript on time no matter what. So, I spent 10 months researching, reading, interviewing, and going to a ton of therapy, to write this book. It was an intense period of my life. But now that I’ve had some time to digest what happened, it was also one of the most happy periods of my life. I’m not only proud of the finished product, I’m also really proud of all the personal growth I made writing the book.
Digger deeper, this small labour of love (called My Own Advisor) is really about my investing journey, paying it forward to others, and sharing investing subjects with a community of like-minded DIY investors. What does your book include that some DIY investors might overlook? How so?
What’s great about my book is it won’t teach you anything about money. There’s a small section on how to create a spending plan to help those readers who haven’t already created a financial foundation to afford things like therapy, but otherwise, you won’t find a section on safe withdrawal rates or tax optimization to avoid the OAS clawback.
If I were to categorize my book, it would be the self-help or personal growth sections of the bookstore (not the business section where unfortunately it’s currently placed). This book is about your money story and your relationship with money. How does money make you feel deep-down? What were some of the lessons you learned about money growing up that you need to let go of now that you’re an adult? What’s the role money has played in your life up until now? How have things like trauma, attachment style, or generational trauma, influenced your financial journey?
This book is all about being vulnerable, doing some important inner work, and developing a healthier relationship with money so you can experience what I like to call financial fulfillment. That’s just to say, how can money help you find fulfillment in your life, without money itself being confused as fulfillment in and of itself.
So, no matter if you’ve reached FI or are still working towards it, this book can still help you no matter where you are on your journey to either help you develop a healthier relationship with money or confirm that you’re already on the right path.
Like most things in life, in a positive way, good habits can be hard to break. Most of us already know modest and frequent amounts of exercise is generally good for our health. Eating well is also generally good for us. Less screen-time and more engagement with nature can be enablers for mindfulness. Automating your savings is likely going to be good for you, financially. The list goes on…
But fears, anxiety, frustration, shame, regret and more are all also very real, highly emotional parts of the personal finance and investing journey. Just like starting a new exercise regime.
What have you overcome, yourself, when it comes to your financial journey? How deep down your own rabbit hole did you have to go related to this book?
I went very deep down the rabbit hole writing this book. As I tell readers, I’m not just guiding you in this book, I go on the journey with you. What I didn’t realize before writing this book was that I had a very toxic relationship with money. But I had no idea because the numbers showed otherwise. I had a decent income, I’ve achieved some big financial milestones, and I had plenty of money in the bank. Yet I couldn’t figure out why I was still so unsatisfied. No matter what I achieved financially or in my career, it never felt good enough.
What I ultimately discovered after some deep introspection and countless hours of therapy was that I was using money as a mechanism to try to heal some of my emotional wounds from the past. And guess what? Money will never be able to heal those. You need a completely different toolkit for that. Once I was able to better understand more about myself and what I was battling internally, I stopped thinking of money as the be all and end all. That’s not to say I don’t set financial goals and don’t hope to one day have enough wealth that I can retire one day. But I no longer look to money to fix me or make me happy. I know it can’t do that now. And I’m a lot happier for it.
So, what’s next for Jessica and where can Canadians find you?!
What’s next for me? Honestly, I’m dedicating this entire year to spread the word about this book because I think it’s so important for people to read and I’ve already been getting such amazing feedback from people who are making connections about their relationships with money they never thought about before. So I’ll be going on a book tour across Canada starting at the end of January, and I’ll be reaching out to more bloggers and podcasters to expose more people to my book in case it’s the book they’ve been waiting for but it just didn’t exist up until now.
Your readers are welcome to contact me via my site: JessicaMoorhouse.com.
Jessica, thanks for this and congrats on your book. I look forward to continuing to follow your progress and personal finance passions!
Readers, your turn – let me know what you’d like hear more of from Jessica including any questions to be answered.
Last but not least, here is your chance to win an autographed copy of her book below. Good luck!
Mark
Mark
My name is Mark Seed – the founder, editor and owner of My Own Advisor. As my own DIY financial advisor, I’m looking to start semi-retirement soon, sooner than most. Find out what I did and how I realized Financial Independence to tailor your own path. Join the newsletter read by thousands. Always free.
