How many times have you had to communicate a solution to a client and felt guilty? How many times have you wanted to eat and felt guilty about wasting time? If you go on vacation, are you able to relax? Or, are you anxious and spending time on your vacation trying to recruit new clients?
That was me. I didn’t know how to love myself, I didn’t know that I was the source of light for my clients and that’s why I had to charge myself with positive energy, with self-care. I thought that if I loaded myself with knowledge, that was enough. Over time, during this professional marathon of success, I started to empty myself, to distance myself and not recognize myself anymore. I was in continuous denial when it came to me, what I like, what makes me happy. All I knew that made me happy was a comfortable frame in which I fit my actions stemming from that stigma of the successful lawyer. The stigma that today, through eLAWvation, we want to dissolve. The old paradigm of being a lawyer, in a new evolutionary way with a spirit of self-care and self-love without feeling wrong for practicing law in this new way.
You may wonder what our WAY is? After 20 years in this field of law and having so many interactions with clients and colleagues, I have noticed this general impostor syndrome, a syndrome that I have experienced intensely. Nothing was enough. I wanted more and more and I was never happy.
We live in a society that has programmed us into believing that happiness boils down to having, not being. To consume as much as possible just to fit into a social category. Especially in the guild of successful lawyers, this price is paid with many personal sacrifices where self-love does not exist. And finally, when it comes to narcissism, lawyers are the most categorized in this field.
Appearances can be deceiving, they say, don’t judge a book by its cover.
Let’s look into the source of these narcissistic behaviors. If you look for the synonyms of self-love, you will see that you find narcissism and selfishness, among other negative adjectives. But more than that, when it comes to talking about self-love, the mind turns to the area of weakness in our being, especially in the case of men, and automatically that dimension is blocked. Because of this, especially in my coaching sessions, successful lawyers feel an inner conflict, overcome by an inner loneliness stemming from this lack of self-love. In fact, when you decide to turn to self-love, it is the source of true success, the balance between your personal and professional life, between how you feel inside (without external stimuli such as alcohol or other substances), and how your life looks outside. Self-love is also the easiest source to motivate yourself, to find determination and creativity in solutions for clients, when you relax instead of being anxious.
If you have decided to have a more harmonious life and to love more what you do, but to do what you love at the same time, maybe this article is the beginning of self-love for you. And maybe you will start with self-forgiveness. When we start to love ourselves, automatically the critical voices, which knock us down, will disappear. Afterwards, the feelings of guilt will leave you and you will start to see reality differently. More importantly, you will feel better!
Researchers from the Department of Psychology at Tufts University, explain that: “Positively biased self-views are argued to be a key component of healthy psychological functioning, influencing self-esteem, motivation, and determination. Indeed, a lack of a self-positivity bias (or even a self-negativity bias) may contribute to mood and anxiety disorder.”
Other practices for self-love include:
– prioritize yourself, your health and your daily actions for this purpose.
– positive thinking in situations where you tend to criticize yourself or others.
– compassion for you.
– make time to spend with your loved ones.
– feel the state of gratitude for everything you have and have done in your life.
– celebrate yourself for every success.
– mindfulness
-volunteer actions can open your heart, get involved in communities.
– self-kindness
Most of the time, all these actions are directed towards expectations from others, being upset many times that we do not receive from others what we need to have inside us. Imagine if we lived in a society where everyone would be aware of this self-responsibility to love themselves, in addition to paying the bills or accumulating things that make us “happy”. I hope this article will help you start loving yourself.
What actions would you take to show yourself that you care about yourself and love yourself? Also asking for help is part of self-love. We are here with you, in a free introductory coaching session, we can see if we can help you…Love yourself and elevate your life and practice. Get the FREE SELF LOVE MEDITATION HERE – write the message “Self Love”
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