January winter.
The past couple of nights seemed to blend in together when I began
working on SLEEP.
January was usually a cold dark month, and while this is nothing new, in a city still under lock down it felt worse.
For those abroad or in the US, Canada was late in getting the vaccine, so cities were forced to extend their restrictions longer. My city of Toronto ended up shutting down near the end of December.
I wasn’t sleeping very much, and restless for weeks.
Casually, I would notice my clock and see 12 :12 on it before going to bed.
It was something subtle that repeated for a few nights.
I continued to work on various small sketches but I wasn’t feeling much of a connection to what I was doing.
Some people are content with painting still life subjects or landscapes, I’m not one of those. My art supplies were also getting low and I couldn’t buy any more because of store closures.
The only thing that I felt interested in were shapes and form.
At the time I didn’t think very much of what I was producing.
There was a strong desire to get some practice in.
Many sketches were crumpled and thrown out before I settled in on a subject, SLEEP. There was an interest in doing a night scene since the lack of light seemed to dominate my existence. Creativity is a personal thing.
I had started painting as a need to explore ideas. But these were one of those moments where I was having my doubts. This path is not always smooth, as it can be difficult, strange, or erratic. I continued to move forward with it in spite of my reservations.
As I look back on this painting many months later,
I see, that the restlessness I was feeling was my creative intuition protecting my mind. The new lock down was having a detrimental impact on living.
It can be hard to see this when you’re in the middle of it. This inspired me to create a new series of paintings,which I’ve named SLEEPY WORLDS.
Toronto lock down restrictions were finally lifted on June 14, 2021.
The city has begun its reopening plan, and final vaccination shots are now underway.
Victor Ramirez
