It’s the middle of February 2025 and I’ve finally got my period back after having a misscarrige last month. I’m not quite sure I was ready emotionally ready to have a period so soon after going through such a horrible time but I guess my body decided it was time to return to normal. My god I was not prepared for this amount of bleeding is this normal? Because I really don’t know, I guess I’ve got no choice but to just roll with it as best as I can.
So I guess the question on everybody’s minds is will I be trying again? And the answer to that question would be absolutely fucking yes!! My 3rd baby was planned and wanted and ever since we lost the baby I’ve felt something missing, a peice of my heart left me that day it’s hard to describe but I just know I was destined to be a mum of 3 and I won’t give up until that becomes a reality. I guess the second question is when is the right time to start trying again? And I’m going to assume it’s different for many women, some may want to wait and I totally get that. Personally I want to try again straight away. Like i said I just constantly feel like something is missing and I really have a hunger to be pregnant again and have my big family that I’ve always wanted.
I don’t really believe in “signs” but we had a name picked out for a baby girl and ever since losing the baby I’ve seen that name everywhere I go, on Tv, local shops and even on a poster in the hospital which is weird because it’s quite an unusual name but I swear I see it everywhere now! So I do take that as a sign that I need to try again.
The hospital did tell me to wait and have a period before we tried again but typical me likes to break the rules so I did actually take a random ovulation test a couple of weeks back and it was a really strong positive, not wanting to waste the opportunity we did try once and that’s where the parioned crazy Zoe came out from hiding and found excitement in any tiny symptom, convincing myself I was lucky enough to fall pregnant so quickly I dashed to the co op and spent £13 on a god dam pregnancy test only for it to be negative! I’m such a silly twat Lesson learnt!!
So I guess the trying for baby number 4 is activated… will it be 3 or 4? I’m not really sure on the technical lingo on that one. All I can say is I’m dreading the coming months, the anxiety the wondering, the obsession of getting pregnant is torture for me and I really believed I’d not have to go through that again but hey ho here we are. I’m ready to go again as soon as this nasty period has fucked off, I’m ready… I feel like I’m in training for baby making and on a mission, determined and hopeful so if you’ve made it this far please pray for me and send me all your baby dust ✨
Z
Xxx
