As a leader, I learned long ago that most people are capable of much more than their manager gives them credit for. If you are a leader who thinks this way, you probably treat your team members well—the way you would want to be treated if you were in their shoes. As you get to know each individual, you may even start to feel that you understand how they think and feel about different things. You are an empathetic leader.
When a leader has empathy for their direct reports, does it mean they will let everyone do their job in whatever way they choose? Of course not. It is the leader’s responsibility to set boundaries by keeping people accountable for their goal achievement, growth, and behavior. In other words, the best leaders not only lead with empathy, they also hold their people accountable. Both elements are critical for success in today’s organizations.
If this sounds familiar, it might be because you’ve heard me say “Servant leadership is the best way to achieve both great relationships and great results.” Being empathetic while instilling accountability in people are leadership skills that can have the same positive outcome. Leaders must hold people accountable for achieving goals, but those who focus only on results will lose their people. Successful leaders are able to create an empathetic environment where people feel seen and heard and also want to perform at a high level.
A key part of leading with empathy is being a good listener. People appreciate a manager who cares about them and what they think. One way for managers to build meaningful connections with their people is to schedule one-on-one meetings where the direct report sets the agenda. There’s no better way to get to know team members as individuals than to set aside time—just 20 to 30 minutes every other week—to chat about anything they wish. It’s a unique opportunity for a manager and a direct report to speak openly with one another without interference or judgment.
When you begin the meeting, eliminate distractions so that you will be present and focused on your team member. Demonstrate curiosity and the desire to help. Open your mind to their ideas and viewpoints. Allow the person time to think before they speak. Also, pay attention to nonverbal clues such as their tone of voice. Practice active listening by restating in your own words what the person said. Or wait until the end of the meeting when you can thoughtfully summarize the full conversation—so that your direct report knows you empathize and understand their perspectives and experiences. Having regular one-on-one meetings leads to trusting relationships built on empathy, respect, loyalty, and accountability for everyone involved.
Remember that as a manager, the best moments you spend are the ones you invest in your people. Lead with empathy and show them they are valued by listening, letting them know you understand their needs, and always keeping the lines of communication open. They will want to do their best for you and willingly take accountability. When that happens, you’ll know you have a high performing team.
