The wonderful truth about friendship is that it’s totally voluntary, and a relationship that is best defined by giving more than you recieve. Of course, all relationships should be like that for the most part (with the exception of caregiving or parenthood), but with friendship, the idea is to make the other person happy and to really invest yourself into them, the only obligation of that being your goodwill and connection to them. It’s lovely.
However, this does also mean we need to put our money where our mouth is from time to time, and really help a cherished friend if they’re struggling. That might involve letting them stay at our place if they need help, or perhaps be a close pillar of support if they’re struggling, such as if they lose a loved one.
If they’re going through a major life change, it’s important to offer help and be there, but not to impose your assistance on them unless they do want it. With that in mind, let’s consider how to best do that:
Offer Life Conveniences & Daily Errands
You don’t always have to do something huge to be a great friend. Even small things like making sure the bins are taken out or grabbing their food shop for the week can help more than you’d think. You may help drive them to the appointment to pick up their bluetooth hearing aids or help them adjust to conversation while wearing them.
People won’t always ask for help outright even if they’re struggling, and if they’ve always been the reliable one, they might not feel comfortable saying they’re not coping, but if you offer to handle a few errands without making a big deal out of it, they’re more likely to accept. It keeps things steady without putting pressure on them to suddenly explain everything or get emotional when they’re just trying to get through the day. Friendship is often found in the tiny moments like this.
Offer Emotional Support & Let Them Vent
You can tell when someone just needs to say things out loud, not to get advice, not to hear a solution, but just to know someone’s listening. Sitting with them, offering a cup of tea or just staying quiet until they feel like talking is sometimes all it takes. You don’t have to know what to say, you just have to be there. It can be especially important in cases of grief or depression in older adults, where life feels very different now and they’re adjusting to that slow emotional reality.
Check Up On Them & Care
Not every catch-up needs to be deep or heavy of course, so just drop them a message now and then, pop round if they’re up for it, remind them that they matter to someone. Even if they don’t reply right away, they’ll feel the support. Letting someone know you’re around without asking anything from them is one of the best things you can offer.
With this advice, you’ll be sure to assist a cherished friend in the best way, even during a pretty major life change.
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