You could be an amazing mum, a superhero mum to your kids, but a perfect mum? Nope. Because perfect mums don’t exist and never have.
This blog is all about sharing the real and raw moments of motherhood – it’s messy, beautiful, exhausting, rewarding, and sometimes (a lot of the time) chaotic. One minute you’re prepping food and singing nursery rhymes, and the next you’re happy to be sat on the toilet to have a minute to yourself. That’s not a reflection of a “bad mum” but a picture of a real mum who’s human. And yet, somehow, there’s still this pressure to aim for “perfection” in parenting, as if you’re only doing it right if you make healthy snacks and have regular screen-free time.
The truth is being a good mum has nothing to do with being perfect. It’s about showing up, again and again, even when you’re running on empty. It’s about the cuddles in the middle of the night, the little “I love you” whispers, the scraped knees that are magically made better with a kiss from mama, and the times you say sorry when you lose your temper – because you do lose your temper. We all do.
I’ve cried at times when I’ve looked back and wondered if I could’ve handled a situation better. But in the moment, emotions run high and being over stimulated is tough, especially when you’re juggling so much at once.
Painting the “perfect” picture
Do you ever scroll through social media and see perfectly captured photos of kids and mums who look like they just stepped out of a beauty salon? And you must have seen those mums who look like they’ve been into a beauty salon inside the hospital before giving birth! What you don’t see are the tantrums just before that photo was taken, the guilt behind the smiles, or the sleepless nights. You also don’t see the mum who looks drained or the tears running down her face some nights.
Comparing yourself to that kind of curated content is a losing game anyway. Because real motherhood doesn’t fit neatly into social media trends.
Kids don’t need a perfect mum
Children need a present mum. Someone who listens and loves fiercely. A mum who makes mistakes and owns up to them. Someone who’s human. Because in showing your children that you’re imperfect, you show them that they can be imperfect too. I wish there was more authenticity in the world.
Whenever you shout, cry, forget something important, or just feel like you wasn’t enough, next time take a breath. You’re not alone as isolating as it can feel at times. Those moments don’t make you a bad mum, it makes you a real one. And being real is far better than being perfect.
Accept the hard days and all the feelings that it includes but don’t struggle alone. Celebrate the good days, anything little wins that mean something for you, let them make you smile. You’re not supposed to be perfect, you’re supposed to be you. And to your kids? That’s enough.
This post has been written from my experience as a mum to a newborn and a three year old.
