Baking in a Tornado: Peanuts and Clown Pants: Fly on the Wall

I love the woman who cleans my house. But we do sometimes have a communication issue. I try to text her in Spanish, but it takes some effort for me to try to figure out how to say what I want to say within the boundaries of the Spanish words I know.

I’ve used a translate app before, but that takes time too. So if I’m in a rush, I’ll just text her in English. Which sometimes works . . .

Me: Hi, G, hope you are well. I haven’t heard from you, do you know when you’ll be cleaning my house next?

G: Thank you, Karen! Feel free to write to her later.

. . . and sometimes, not so much.

Me: You asked him when you were talking to him earlier, I heard you.

Hubs: I don’t think so.

Me: Listen, either you’re getting senile or I’m hallucinating.

Hubs: I think you’re hallucinating.

Me: I think you’re getting senile.

Could be we’re both right. Yeah, getting old is a lot of fun.

Hubs walks up when I’m taking a picture.

Hubs: What are you doing?
Me: I’m taking a picture.

Hubs: Of your peanuts? You usually only take pictures of food you cook, why the peanuts?
Me: These are not just any peanuts, that one in the middle is symbolic.

Hubs: Symbolic? A peanut? Symbolic of what?

Me: That there’s one in every crowd.

I was watching a commercial for a medication. They’re quickly listing off the possible side effects. Then they get to a bacterial infection between the anus and the genitals.

And I have to wonder, at what point do you think you’d be better off just having the disease?

PurDude called. I was up in the kitchen and talked to him for a while. Hubs was down in the man cave, so when I finished talking, I brought my phone down to him.

He comes back upstairs as he’s wrapping up the call, says “good-bye,” and hands me my cell. As I go to close it . . .

Me: What did you do to my phone?
Hubs: Nothing, I talked on it then handed it back to you.

So, I look at my phone. Facebook is open, my settings are open, some emergency thing I’ve never seen before is open, my bluetooth has been turned on, and my wifi connection has been turned off.

Ugh, that man . . .

Crispy Pan Fried Flounder

Hubs has a habit of creating piles of stuff, paperwork for the most part. He rarely even looks what’s at the bottom, just keeps building the pile until he decides to start a second one. I’m constantly having to make him go through them and get rid of what he doesn’t need. Which is about 90% of what he’s got piled up.

One afternoon, it was clear he was starting a second pile on the coffee table in the man cave, so I told him he better not dare do another thing until he got rid of whatever he didn’t need.

Later, I had gone down the stairs and nothing had changed.

Me: I can see your junk.

When, from the top of the stairs I hear my son, who I hadn’t realized had come in the house:

College Boy: Um, maybe this is a bad time.

Me (running up the stairs): No, not that junk!

Did my kid just hear me tell my Husband I could see his junk? Well, yes, yes I did.

In the spirit of taking the bad with the good, I had some comments on my last blog post:

Comment: Too good, all of it. Thank you for sharing your world with us.

and another:

Comment: I enjoyed your Fly on the Wall, several chuckles . . .

and one more:

Comment: It’s just so fun to explore your world for a while every month. Thank you.

I love knowing that my post is entertaining, knowing I can bring a chuckle to someone’s day is so satisfying. But no time to relish in a job well done, when the next comment showed up:

Comment: What a long post, I read most of it before my mind going numb and my eyes just looking at the screen taking nothing in. Anyway . . .

Yeah, what was I just saying about there being one in every crowd? I’m just hoping there’s only one.

Each Monday we watch for the college basketball rankings to be posted with the hopes of a good spot in the top 25 for Purdue. They’d had some pretty amazing seasons, frequently falling into the #1 spot, but this year they’d lost some key players. They stayed in the top 25, but not at the top. In the past few weeks, they’d been climbing.

So on this particular Monday, we anxiously checked out the new ranking. We were both pleased and perplexed.

It seems they were reporting Purdue rising 2 spots from #11 to # 10.

ESPN may be a great resource for sports lovers. But clearly can’t be counted on for any basic math.

In the vein of “he who smelt it, dealt it,” and “silent but deadly,” I was unfortunate enough to have been taught a new saying recently: 

Colon music.

Ever heard it referred to as that? Now you have. No need to thank me.

I love living in the age of the internet. It’s so satisfying to have answers to many of my questions right at my fingertips. No checking encyclopedias or waiting for the library to open, just type in your question and voila.

Well, mostly.

We’d been watching a basketball rivalry. Purdue was playing Indiana University. The players on the court were wearing their uniform shorts, but many players not going into the game had on their warmup gear.

And I had questions. Ones I don’t think Google (or an encyclopedia, even) could answer.

Like who the hell decided it was a good idea to dress the basketball team in clown pants?