By David Glenn Cox
Due to flash flooding in the one-star state caused by the climate change he doesn’t believe in. Texas Governor Greg (Bubba) Abbott makes a great patriotic appeal for Texans to come together. Because Texans always come together in tough times, and Texans always work together and all that jazz. There was a reason for his patriotic plea.
Joe Stalin after his murderous purges, numerous incompetencies and making deals with Hitler. Found his country invaded by the Nazis and on the back foot. Towns and cities destroyed with thousands dead. Uncle Joe knew that it would do no good making a plea on behalf of Joe Stalin or the government. So, Stalin instead made a plea on behalf of Mother Russia. Calling on Russians to come together for the good of Mother Russia and to work together for the good of Mother Russia. Because Russians always come together in tough times and work together and all that jazz.
Pure distraction! Never mind our errors and incompetence. Do it for Texas! (Flag waving in the background) Never mind our flubs, unfairness and foibles. It’s your patriotic idiotic duty as God Fearing Texans! Remember, this is the same state where two inches of snow and a cold snap blew out the circuit breakers, at the power company throwing the state into darkness for several days. Forcing Ted Cruz to abandon his dog and flee to Acapulco, while his constituents froze.
It reminds of what Harry Truman once said. “When are you going to figure out who keeps hitting you in the head!” Rather than properly funding the public schools and trying to do something to solve the ills and social problems. The Texas state government came up with the next best thing. “We’ll post the Ten Commandments in every underfunded classroom!” Rather than expensive computers or microscopes inexpensive cardboard wall hangings like the ones at grandma’s house. Now listen up children! This is America and you have the right to believe in any stupid heathen religion you wish. But if you ask us, this one is best! And look! It’s even state approved!
Why just by posting these ancient Judaic life rules on the wall plagiarized from an Egyptian temple. All of society’s troubles can be solved! Remember kids, he walked on water! He fed the multitude with two loaves and fishes! He didn’t need any BIG government programs or free school lunches. He didn’t need any adequately funded public schools! Pure distraction saving hundreds of millions of dollars for the corporations and affluent Texans they actually serve! Remember Kids, “you shall have no other false Gods before me!” That’s some useful information to keep handy! Remember that! You could even put that down on a job application someday. “I worship no false gods or graven images!” I might be totally incompetent at my job, but I have my theology straight!
Why with that information available, if you should ever become a murderer or a thief. The state can claim complete and total immunity. We tried to warn you! Didn’t we? The state spent .49 cents on a wall hanging guaranteeing a successful life path for you. If you just follow these simple rules kids. “Honor your mother and father.” That will help you in your chosen career path someday. Way more than a superior education ever will! Way more than free school lunches ever did!
Just like Greg (Bubba) Abbott and Joe Stalin it’s pure distraction! Now, how can you get mad at us for the poor academic performance of your stupid children? After we’ve done this magnificent thing of bringing back that old timey religion into the classroom! Gimme dat old time religion! Gimme dat old time religion! Gimme dat old time religion it’s even better than state funding!
Why just look at how successful it’s been over the course of human history! No telling how many apocalypse’s humanity has avoided thanks to those ten little commandments! Open your dated textbooks kids to the dog-eared page 27 if your textbook still has a page 27. See that graffiti ridden doodled on picture of Moses? Do you see what he’s carrying there children? Those are stone tablets! Stone tablets that Moses got straight from God! After he talked to God through a burning bush! Well children, I’m sure that you’re all mighty impressed now! Keep the sabbath holy kids! But which day you choose to call the sabbath is up to you and even open to debate. But the state approves Sunday! Now can your mothers and fathers can’t ever find fault with us? Affter all that we’ve done, and all just for you kids! The rest is all up to you children!
In my own subterranean sojourn through the dark dregs and useless hours of an Alabama high school. The state spent precious money installing FREE DUMB shrines. Ensconcing copies of history’s greatest documents of freedom under Plexiglas. Mounted on the hallway walls to be ignored and enjoyed by all the students over the years. Who paid no attention to them whatsoever. Only nerds like me ever stopped read them. But I was only doing an inventory to see which documents they had included. The Magna Carta was there! Of course, it was!
You couldn’t even have a free dumb shrine without that one! Why, how else would the children ever learn about the rights of the nobility and the landed gentry of Earls and Barons to a Medieval King of England without that! Or the Mayflower compact? Or the orders of Succession! No wait, that one wasn’t there! Or the emancipation proclamation. Oh darn, we couldn’t find a copy of that one either, but we’ll keep looking. But it was hard to raise an interest in ancient documents in school children barely capable of reading.
For many years states spent money on the DARE Program. With tee shirts and bumper stickers and free pencils and stuff. Teaching the children of the dangers of drugs. And so successful was the program that all drug abuse was literally wiped out in America. But as long as people seek escape from the bitter reality of economic prison and servitude devoid of all religious platitudes. Drug abuse will remain and flourish. In some parts of America, it’s the only free market opportunity left open to them.
And so, the question about the Ten Commandments in Texas becomes a simple one. Who will read the commandments to the illiterate children? The mythical Jesus once said while riding his favorite unicorn. “Suffer the little children to come unto me.” He needn’t worry. With Republicans around there will always be plenty of suffering children. They are the Religious party!
“If I were hungry and friendless today, I would rather take my chances with a saloon-keeper than with the average preacher.” ― Eugene V. Debs
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