Faith & Friendship | Your Faith Walk Isn’t Meant To Be Done Alone

Erinn was heartbroken and tempted to hide her pain. Instead she embraced her faith and friendship by reaching out and sharing her heart.

The tissue was soggy and wrinkled, holding the shape of my tight fist. I stared at it through blurry eyes, certain that my heart was in far worse shape. 

Sometimes I wondered how it still beat. How it still carried blood to my withering body. 

My eyes ached from crying. How can one person produce so many tears? It seemed physically impossible. I felt like I was rotting from the inside out. 

One minute we were living a happy married life, walking hand in hand along the beach, and the next thing I knew, I was grasping at anything to recognize the person I’d committed my life to.

The Band-Aid was ripped off with his heavy, yet simple string of words: I’ve been unfaithful. 

I felt my entire future slip away, like sand through my fingertips. 

Turn to God in the Midst of Pain and Heartbreak

Give ear to my words, O Lord; consider my groaning. Give attention to the sound of my cry, my King and my God, for to you do I pray.

– Psalm 5:1-2

Through the depths of sorrow and the sting of pain, I knew I had a choice to make. 

I could stay under my covers, where my brokenness could remain hidden, and reappear when I felt whole again. This felt like the safe option. The pretty option, if you will. 

Show the world only the good. I’m a Christian after all… what would it say if people saw me crumpled in a defeated little ball? For a moment, I convinced myself that I’d be a terrible witness if people knew the truth. That my unfortunate circumstances might somehow embarrass the God everyone knew I served. 

Look how awful her life is. Why would I ever want her God?

My other choice? Show people my pain. Like my ugly cry, not just the gentle dabbing of a tissue to the mascara-painted corners of my eyes. It didn’t take long to learn that when I do this, others get to share in the joy of God’s mending (no matter how far off that may feel). 

So I won’t lie, I spent a few days tucked in the dark cave of my comforter. After throwing my phone across the bed one too many times when it buzzed with an “Are you okay?” text, I decided my pride had no place in my authentic friendships with fellow believers.

Maybe the life that I thought was just one big fat embarrassment to God could actually turn out to be a beautiful example of how He’s close in times of trouble.

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

– Psalm 34:18

You Don’t Have to Walk Through Pain Alone

I made the choice to peel myself from under the covers and emerge from my little cocoon, even if I hadn’t yet transformed into something whole. I don’t think the world (or even our small friend circles) wants to just see the butterfly, so to speak. There’s something to be said about walking alongside someone through the transformative healing process. 

So I picked up my phone and faced the music, well, the string of unanswered texts and calls. Here we go, it’s time to get real. Once I let go of pretending everything was okay and started sharing my pain with my close friends, I found open arms. They didn’t want my perfection, they wanted my authenticity. 

With that, I learned a few things on how to be a friend through life’s trials. 

Don’t Be a “Don’t Say That” Friend. Be a “We’ll Get Through This” Friend.

Have you ever expressed a real fear only to have someone say, “don’t say that!” But just because I don’t say it, doesn’t mean I’m not feeling it.

Don’t be a “don’t say that” friend. Be a “we’ll get through this” friend. ~ Erinn Karpovck Share on X

When I brought my ugly cry to my friends, they didn’t reprimand me for sharing my emotions, they let me speak my feelings and my fears. 

Just because I felt like all hope was lost didn’t mean I didn’t believe God could still turn brokenness into beauty. Instead of coming back at me with a “don’t say that,” they simply listened and said, “we’ll get through this.” There’s so much power in a “we” statement when a friend feels alone.

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”

– Romans 12:15

You Can Trust God and Still Feel Sad

I used to think that other Christians might doubt my faith in God if I opened up about my real sadness or struggles. I worried that if I showed the full extent of my pain, fear, or despair, that they’d judge my faith. 

Once I let others into the cracks of my brokenness, I learned that I can hold such pain in one hand, yet hold onto Jesus with the other. In reality, He’s there holding me right in His palm. 

I realized how important it is to be the friend who:

• Doesn’t question a friend’s faith when she opens up about her struggles.
• Invites a friend to simply do life together during hard times: run errands, help out with a house project, share a Sunday dinner.
• Speaks words of faith over a friend when she feels too weak to say it out loud herself.

Related Post: Giving Advice vs Offering Support

Ask God for Faith-Filled Friendships

Outside of the safety of my bed covers, I knew I’d need an army of believers to walk alongside me. So I stepped out with the friends I had, but I also prayed for more.

The first time I ventured back to church after my divorce, I felt like a freshman walking into the first day of high school, as if there was a blinking sign above my head that said: Alone.

I remember walking along the sidewalk up to the grand building and whispering a small prayer: God, please bring me someone to sit with.

I’m not sure why I was so shocked when He answered. 

Just as I slipped into the restroom before service to give myself a pep talk to prepare to enter the big sanctuary alone, I heard familiar voices. Two girls I hadn’t seen since college were applying lipstick in the mirror, and as soon as we met eyes, it was an instant reconnection, followed by, guess what? An offer to sit together.

Since that moment, I’ve relied on God to bring strong, Christ-believing friends into my life, and my journey through trials is better because of it.

How Your Trials Equip You to Walk with Others

So here I am now, on the other side of my pain. I know that the years ahead may bring more trials, but I’m equipped with a stronger faith, the goodness of God, and the friends He sent me along the way.

Now, I go forward with a layer of depth that serves to help others who experience sorrow. Those who bring their ugly cry to me. Because of what God did in my life (and is still doing), I pray He continues to use me to comfort others who face challenges. 

When we commit to walking with others along the bumpy road of our faith journeys, we invite ways for God to use us. 

There’s nothing more beautiful than witnessing those cries for help turn into tears of joy as we celebrate God’s faithfulness through it all.

So, grab a tissue, and find a friend who needs you.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

– 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 

About the Author

Erinn Karpovck is a faith-based writer based in St. Petersburg, Florida, who finds purpose in giving voice to stories of hope and transformation.

Her writing is rooted in the belief that faith is often formed in the middle of real life. Through an honest and reflective style, she explores themes like identity, divorce, singleness, and the tension of navigating belief in seasons that don’t always make sense. Erinn’s work creates space for readers to see themselves more clearly and to recognize thoughts they’ve had but never quite put into words. Learn more about Erinn at AWordWithErinn.com.

If you liked this blog post, you’ll also love our anthology, Candid Conversations. While each story shares a unique perspective, the prevailing theme is that while we all struggle, there is hope to be found in Jesus.