Struggling with the longing for motherhood? This encouraging article offers biblical hope, practical steps, and reassurance that God sees your desire and brings purpose and joy even in seasons of waiting.
By Crista Moriah Simonowich
Not too long ago, I went on an afternoon outing with my mom and younger sister. We browsed a couple of places as well as an antique store. At the end of our girl trip, a little book which sat on a shelf caught my eye. “The Poky Little Puppy,” was a story I grew up with.
According to AbeBooks, this work “was one of the original twelve Little Golden Books published in 1942.” For a few dollars and fifty cents, it was mine to keep. I wanted to add it to my collection of children’s books for the future which, at that point, mostly consisted of a hard copy of Pooh Bear picked out years before.
The Dream of Motherhood
This purchase was not the only way I have exercised hope for having kids of my own, however. Have you collected a plethora of pretty, maternal ideas on Pinterest? Me, too. Many women wistfully cultivate dreams of motherhood, saving pins of nursery ideas, maternity shoot poses, and birth announcements. Maybe you also have an iPhone note dedicated to baby names. Or an idea of how many kids you would like.
There’s more to motherhood than collecting sweet books and aesthetic photos. Motherhood goes much deeper than choosing a name for a little one, freshly welcomed into the world, with their tiny feet still inky from being pressed into their birth certificate.
If you were having a tete-a-tete with somebody, tenderly discussing what Mother’s Day looks like for you as a single woman, what emotions would you allow to surface?
Would you tell them how your womb aches when you see mothers with their babies as you scroll through social media?
Unfulfilled Dream
Because I can relate to this sensation, I’d like to affirm us both: We may not be “actual mothers” yet, but our unfulfilled longing for a baby of our own consists of real emotional substance.
Maybe you’re thinking: In all honesty, I’m in a season of singleness, and I don’t see a guy on the horizon.
I understand all too well:
- Swiping through profiles on dating apps, along with the messaging and ghosting it can bring.
- Going on a less-than-desirable first date.
- Being disappointed when you catch sight of a cute guy’s left hand bearing a ring.
It can be frustrating to harbor fervor for romance and marriage with those dreams being unfulfilled thus far. Not to mention the baby fever of wanting to hold a newborn—your little newborn—close, right hand supporting their fuzzy head.
Yet, our hearts are tied to God’s—and He feels each pang of desire.
“God, who hung the stars—He has taken a thread of His heart and tied it to yours. And He didn’t need to, but God tied His heart to yours so when you feel pain, He *fills* with pain.” (Ann Voskamp, The Greatest Gift).
Looking Forward
You may be wondering how to practically prepare for pregnancy even now.
I’ve been obese for eight years. Since January, I have adopted a steady, passionate discipline of doing everything in my power to get back to my goal weight (except for a bumpy start during that first month). The extra pounds are dropping at a good rate! For my sweet tooth, I’ve traded Little Debbies for healthy alternatives like Halo Top ice cream.
On my journey of better choices, I recently realized before everything falls into place, it is possible to do something in this “season of utter singleness” to condition the body to house a life someday. We can restore our temple (1 Cor. 6:19–20).
The habits we take up now can enhance our ability to “mother,” whether that is physically, spiritually, or both.
Joy in the Absence
So, how do we practically and satisfactorily reach for joy this Mother’s Day?
- Celebrate and honor our mother or mother figures (Eph. 6:2). Write a card. Post on social media. Give them a gift.
- Start a prayer journal dedicated to belief in God’s ability to “do superabundantly more than all that we dare ask or think [infinitely beyond our greatest prayers, hopes, or dreams]…” (Eph. 3:20a, AMP). Write a petition when emotions surface.
- Intentionally search for beauty in this season (Eccl. 3:1,11). Count gifts like Ann Voskamp urges her readers in One Thousand Gifts.
Consider having that heart-to-heart with another woman about how you are feeling during this time so devoted to the maternal. You might just learn that you are not, and have never been, alone.
Maybe we will not feel so left out on this particular Sunday if we are gentle with ourselves and the deep ache. We can partake of peace by focusing on the truth that no matter what Jesus has orchestrated for us, it is with purpose (Ps. 138:8a).
We can also lay our longing for motherhood before God. Our surrendered desire is a beautiful thing whether God gives us a baby someday, others to love, or provides opportunities where we can channel this ache for good.
I’m praying for you, sister. There may be twinges of pain and longing tangled together within our soul when it comes to our womb, yet may joy be greater and present! I also pray for peace and contentment that supersedes any struggle.
For Further Study
Read:
- Psalm 34:18. Where do you most need to experience God’s closeness in your longing right now?
- Isaiah 40:31. What might it look like to place your hope in God today instead of your timeline?
Reflect:
What emotions surface when you think about motherhood, and have you brought those honestly before God?
In what ways might God be inviting you to nurture others or grow spiritually in this season?
Pray:
Lord, You see every longing in my heart, even the ones I struggle to put into words. You know the desire I carry for motherhood and the ache that sometimes comes with it. Thank You for being near to me in this season. Help me trust Your timing and Your plans, even when they feel unclear. Fill my heart with peace and remind me that my life has purpose in You, no matter what the future holds. Amen.
