The Interview I’ve Been Avoiding for Four Years

The Interview I’ve Been Avoiding for Four Years

Hey Goal Crusher, it’s the fifth Sunday of the month, which means it’s time to join me for The Bonus Mile.

The Bonus Mile is my little corner of the internet where we go a step further than usual. These are the posts that don’t fit neatly into my usual routine, but still deserve the spotlight. This is where the good stuff usually shows up.

I’m passionate about walking my talk. I know I’ve said that before, but I want to say it again.

That means the coaching tools and techniques I use with my clients are tools I’ve used myself. I’m not asking you to do anything I wouldn’t do.

Which is exactly where this Bonus Mile came from.

I was talking about my Interview with a Goal-Crusher posts with someone, and they asked a great question. “Have you ever answered these questions yourself?”

Wow.

No. I hadn’t.

I’ve shared nearly fifty goal-crusher stories over the past four years, and I’d never once walked my own talk and done it myself.

That changes today.

This month’s Bonus Mile is an interview.

With me.

By me.

So buckle up… here we go.

Let’s start with the basics. Who are you, and what do you do?

Hi, I’m Coach Tony, and I help people achieve their biggest goals.

In the business world, I’m a consultant, project manager, technologist, and leader. Thirty-plus years in tech, retail, government, and healthcare, helping businesses and the people inside them grow and perform at their best.

But my role outside the business world is the one that matters most here.

I’m a certified master life coach and the founder and CEO of Operation Melt. I help left-brained high-achievers set and crush their most important goals through life, health, and business coaching, a handful of published books, and the weekly content I share with my Goal Crusher Community.

I’m working to build a world where no goal ever dies of loneliness.

What motivated you to pursue your unique journey? What was your vision? Can you share your story?

My journey started a long time ago, as a kid. I grew up in a family stuck in survival mode. I was the poor, fat kid who got bullied for it. The day I moved out of my parents’ house and into my college dorm, I made myself a promise: I was never going back. My only real goal was to build a life that looked nothing like the one I grew up in.

College is where I flourished, mostly outside the classroom. That’s where I found my talent for technology, for hard work, for hustle, and for getting along with people. I ran the campus radio station. Worked for the college IT department. Ran my own little tech side-hustle. Stayed active in student organizations. And that’s where I met Liz, who became my best friend, and eventually, my wife.

After college, my biggest goal was climbing: advance my career, make more money, feel successful. I changed jobs several times and landed high-profile roles at some big, recognizable companies. I was building a solid career and a solid life with Liz. And I was completely ignoring my health.

2014 was a lot. I took on a new, high-stress role at work. We moved into a new house. And I watched my dad die of a mysterious cause at 59 years old. It was a rough year. Looking back, that’s when the fuse got lit, even though it took years to actually go off.

Over the next three years, the toxic work environment snowballed. So did ignoring my health.

Summer of 2017, I finally walked into a doctor’s office for the first time in fifteen years. I learned I weighed 325 pounds and was showing signs of several other health conditions I could have avoided. That’s when I made the decision that unlocked a whole new phase of my journey.

I committed to losing over 100 pounds in under a year.

It took nine months to hit that goal and to finally conquer the issue I’d carried and been embarrassed by for over forty years… the one I’d almost never even tried to fix. Once I started, it turned out to be so much easier than the story I’d built up in my head.

I didn’t stop there. By month sixteen, I’d lost more than 130 pounds total, dropping from 325 pounds to crossing the finish line of my first half marathon.

But the transformation was bigger than the number on the scale. It was a full lifestyle and priorities reset, on top of changing jobs after getting laid off partway through the journey.

That’s also when I launched Operation Melt, as a blog to document what I was going through. People kept asking how I was doing it and sharing their own stories back with me. That’s what sparked it.

The blog grew into my first published book.

Then, during the pandemic, I got my first coaching certification and started taking on a couple of clients.

After applying it, testing it, and refining it, Project Manage Your Life (PMYL) was born. I wanted to put those same tools in other people’s hands, so they could go after their own big goals too.

Today, I’m still trying new things, still prioritizing my personal development, still growing Operation Melt, still working to help people stop hesitating and start moving.

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What was the very first step you took to get started?

My first step was the same one almost every goal-crusher I’ve interviewed has shared. It sounds easy. It’s usually the hardest part of the whole journey.

I had to decide to try.

I had to decide it was time to tackle this huge thing I’d always said I’d do “one day.”

I had to decide it was day one. The time was right. The reason was right. I needed to try.

Once I started seeing results and building confidence in myself, every future decision to try got easier.

Launching a blog to share a deeply personal story wasn’t sidelined by fear and self-sabotage.

Writing and publishing a book didn’t stall out on imposter syndrome, permission-seeking, and overwhelm.

Starting my coaching business didn’t become a “one day” dream frozen by perfectionism.

All of that was still there. But my commitment to helping other people experience what I was experiencing was stronger than my hesitation.

What were your biggest challenges in chasing your goals? How did you push through them?

A lot of goal-crushers point to the how. Figuring out the plan. Balancing the commitments. I deal with those too. But that’s not my biggest challenge. There’s a different adversary that gets in my way.

My biggest challenge is me. It’s a function of how I’m wired.

Quick context: in the Enneagram, I’m primarily a 3, with a three-way tie for second between the 6 and the 9. Type 3 is “The Achiever,” or “The Performer”: driven by a core need to feel valuable and successful through accomplishment.

When I commit to a goal, and I mean really commit, I’m all in. When I’ve also told other people I’m doing it, that commitment gets amplified. Sounds positive. It’s actually the hard part.

I talk about my goal. A LOT.

I get frustrated the second anything gets in the way. Work. Other responsibilities. Anything.

The big one: I feel it in my core anytime anything slips backward in my journey, even if it’s only in my head. During my weight loss, day-to-day fluctuations on the scale hit me hard. And when my body settled into its own weight set point for a while, that stuck with me too.

The same thing happens now. Social impressions slip. Email opens dip. A client doesn’t renew. Business growth isn’t a straight line up. Any one of the hundreds of data points I track can send me sideways.

Logically, I know these things are going to happen.

Emotionally, it is a completely different story.

I’ve learned to manage the natural ups and downs. I’ve got good coping mechanisms now. But this is still, and probably always will be, my biggest challenge.

What goal-setting or success habits have worked well for you that you’d love to pass on to others?

If you’ve followed along for a while, you already know what I’m going to say.

The habit that’s worked best for me, and for my clients, isn’t grit or willpower. It’s following a system instead of white-knuckling it and hoping you figure it out along the way. One that actually fits how you’re wired.

That’s why I built Project Manage Your Life, my system for setting and achieving goals. It comes down to six strategies: commit to SMART goals, build a plan that actually works for you, measure your progress every day, expect and plan for problems, don’t go it alone, and enjoy the journey along the way.

I could write a whole book about each one. I did, actually.

But here’s the short version.

Nothing happens until you stop saying “one day” and commit to day one.

You can’t borrow someone else’s plan and expect it to fit your goal; you have to build your own.

Data doesn’t lie, so track it daily; it’ll tell you if you’re on track, and it’s a serious motivator for high-achievers.

A goal journey is never a straight shot, so plan for what might go wrong before it happens.

Goals are easier with a team, so choose your confidantes, your accountability partners, and your experts on purpose.

And don’t wait until the finish line to let yourself be happy; love the steps along the way, or the whole thing just feels like more work.

That’s a lot to unpack in a few sentences. That’s exactly why I turned it into a full, free system you can use right now. Use my structure. Build your own plan (see step two). And go crush your goal. Grab your free copy of the PMYL system here: OperationMelt.com/PMYL.

One final note: goal success starts with one core belief: that growth is always possible and that goals beat auto-pilot every day.

What’s one thing you do that might look lazy or indulgent from the outside, but is actually essential to your success?

My wife and I go out to restaurants a lot.

From the outside, it probably looks like we never cook at home and like we’re wasting a ton of money. I know, because I’ve gotten plenty of comments about it.

Going out is way more important than it looks.

First off, it’s just a great way to decompress and enjoy life. But the value goes way beyond that.

Bonding over a drink or a meal brings friends closer. We’re regulars at a few places, and so are a lot of our friends. That’s actually how we met some of our closest friends.

It’s also how I support local businesses. Every place we’re regulars at is locally owned. We know the owners, the managers, the staff, and I genuinely want them to succeed. It’s a tangible way of living my values, not just talking about them.

Finally, it’s one of the best ways I meet people and contribute to their growth. A lot of my coaching clients and featured goal-crushers came out of bar and restaurant conversations. And even outside of clients and interviewees, I use these interactions to learn about people and help them move toward their own goals.

Needless to say, going out to restaurants and bars isn’t laziness. It’s part of my value system.

If you could go back and give 18-year-old you one piece of advice, what would it be and why?

Don’t be so focused on what’s next that you can’t enjoy what’s now.

I spent a lot of my life climbing ladders. Trying to skip steps. Only focused on the next thing instead of pausing to appreciate what I already had.

I don’t have any major regrets. I’m happy with how my journey played out. But it also caused a lot of unnecessary anxiety and frustration along the way. And it probably led me to pick a few ladders, especially at work, based on which one was faster to climb. Not which one was actually worth climbing.

That’s absolutely part of why it took me forty years to finally try to conquer my weight.

What else would you like my Operation Melt readers to know about you, your work, or the journey you’ve taken?

Helping people is what I love. Full stop.

There’s nothing better than watching someone move from “I don’t know if I can” to crossing their own finish line, whatever that looks like for them. I’ve gotten to watch it happen with weight loss goals, career pivots, marathons, businesses launched, relationships repaired, and a hundred other things in between.

If you want the short version of who I am and why I do this work, here it is. It’s basically my personal mission statement, toned down just slightly for a family-friendly blog post:

I rewrote my story out loud. And I’m proof that weird, raw, kind, and powerful can all live in the same body. I’m Coach Tony, and I am never looking back. Not for one damn second.

That’s not a tagline. That’s how I actually live.

And if any part of my story resonated with you today – the ladder-climbing, the waiting for “someday,” the ignoring your own health while you take care of everyone else – I’d love to help you write your own version of it.

That’s what coaching with me actually looks like. Not a guru relationship. Not a lecture. A partner who’s been in the trenches and has a system that works, ready to help you build yours.

Finally, a message to my clients. Thank you! Thank you for trusting me to be part of your journey. And thank you for helping me live my purpose every day.

Where can people go to learn more about you or connect with your work?

My honest suggestion: join my free Goal Crusher Community. That’s where you’ll find the strategies, the inspiration, the stories, and my full system, all in one place. Join the community below or visit OperationMelt.com/Start.

Beyond that, you can always find me at OperationMelt.com or connect with me on social media:

I’d love to connect and be one of your biggest cheerleaders along the way.

So there we have it.

I finally walked my talk and did what I’ve asked nearly fifty goal-crushers to do before me: answered the questions myself.

My story isn’t really about weight loss, or a business, or even coaching. It’s about setting and crushing goals. About discovering who I actually am underneath thirty years of climbing other people’s ladders. And about committing, fully, to a passion and a purpose bigger than me.

I invite you to make today day one of your journey to commit to your purpose and build the life of your dreams.

You’re here for a reason. Let’s take the next step.

Meet Coach Tony

Tony Weaver is a master life coach, technologist, consultant, writer, and founder of Operation Melt.

He helps project managers and other left-brained high-achievers pursue their biggest goals.

Through free resources, personalized coaching, and his proven Project Manage Your Life system, Tony empowers clients to move their dreams from “someday” to success… one step at a time.

Learn more about Project Manage Your Life, the system my clients and I use to crush our goals, at OperationMelt.com/PMYL/