Somebody’s Lying to You About Your ‘One Day’ Dream

Somebody’s Lying to You About Your ‘One Day’ Dream

Hey Goal Crusher, welcome to Ask Coach Tony.

In this episode, we’re continuing our focus on helping you turn “one day” into DAY ONE.

One day is a dream. That far-off longing for something that never seems to make progress.

DAY ONE is a decision. It’s the day you decide you’ve had enough of saying “one day” and you’re ready to act. Every win, every crushed goal and every new business starts with a DAY ONE.

Today, I’m going to share the obstacles that most people tell me are keeping their business dreams stuck at “one day.” I’ll explain how most of these obstacles are symptoms of the same challenge. A challenge that’s completely within their ability to overcome. And I’ll tell you how to overcome it when it inevitably pops up in your life.

In case you missed it, the information I’m sharing today is very similar to what we discussed in this month’s Goal Crusher Coffee Chat. Minus the interactive portion, of course.

My hope is that the coffee chat, this Ask Coach Tony and a special announcement that’s coming in a few days all achieve the same thing. I want to help you stop saying “one day I want to start a business” and decide that today is DAY ONE.

Even if your “one day” goal doesn’t involve starting a business, these same strategies will still help you reach your DAY ONE, no matter what it looks like.

My Coaching Brain Gets Triggered

There’s a big occupational hazard associated with being a coach. My coaching brain is always on.

As I’ve mentioned before, there are certain phrases that I hear that trigger my coaching brain to be extra sensitive. If you’ve ever had a coaching session with me, you know many of these red flags.

Every time I hear a client, friend, mentee or someone else say, “I want to start a business one day but…”, my coaching brain shifts into overdrive. Then I listen carefully to what they say next. It’s usually something like one of these:

• I don’t know how to get started.
• What if nobody wants what I’m selling?
• I need to learn more about how to run a business.
• I don’t know if I’m allowed to do it.
• I can’t afford to quit my job to run my business.
• I’m not ready yet.
• This is all so scary!

Have you ever said something like this about your “one day” dream?

I’ve got some big news for you. These statements almost always point to the same underlying obstacle. And that underlying issue is dishonesty. Straight up lies, yo!

But you’re not the one who is lying. You’re being lied to.

And it is always by the same surprising culprit.

It’s Not You, It’s The Caveman

I know I say this a lot, but here goes…
Your brain doesn’t give a shit about your happiness, it just wants you to be safe.

Since the days of stepping out of our caves into a saber-toothed tiger-infested forest, our brains have been hyper-aware of potential risks to our safety. It’s an involuntary reaction that I call caveman brain.

Today, when something is unfamiliar, your caveman brain treats it as a threat and flips into protection mode. It can’t tell the difference between a challenging stretch goal and a life-or-death situation. To your brain, it’s risky and dangerous, so it snaps into self-preservation mode.

Your brain isn’t asking whether your “one day” dream will help you grow. It’s asking whether you’ll survive it.

Then it goes to work. Self-talk designed to keep you exactly where you are.

Put simply, your brain interprets your unfamiliar “one day” dream as a threat and starts feeding you lies to keep you stuck.

If you default to autopilot and believe your brain’s lies, DAY ONE will never come.

Fortunately, if the AI explosion has taught us anything, it’s that we shouldn’t just take things at face value. The same applies to your caveman brain’s lies.

How To Reprogram Your Caveman Brain

Something I tell my clients (and friends) all the time is that your brain believes what you tell it.

This means we need to be diligent about what we say about ourselves. For example, when you say you’re bad at something like, “I’m terrible with change”, your brain believes you. Then it starts looking for evidence to back it up. The whole thing becomes a vicious cycle.

Good news: you can hijack this cycle and make it work for you instead of against you.

By changing the messages you’re feeding your brain, you can slowly reprogram it to work in your favor. You tell your brain the positive thing, it looks for evidence to back it up and a virtuous cycle emerges.

Here’s how to start reprogramming your brain in 21 days so you can break free from “one day” and find your DAY ONE.

Recognize

The first step to reprogramming your caveman brain is to recognize that you have a problem. This means becoming aware of the lies that your brain is telling you that are keeping you stuck.

This is a job for one of my favorite coaching tools: journaling.

I recommend that my clients start journaling every day. It doesn’t have to be anything complicated or fancy, just a recurring time each day to jot down a few thoughts.

If you are struggling to get started with your “one day” business (or other “one day” dream), I recommend adding one additional prompt to your daily journaling.

What’s stopping you from starting your “one day” business?

Then list the items that are at the top of your mind. You don’t have to do a deep-dive, just the first few things that pop into your head.

Do this every day for a week and then look for the items that seem to pop up more than once. These are likely the biggest lies your caveman brain is telling you.

Rewrite

Once you have recognized the biggest obstacles that are holding you back, it’s time to rewrite them.

This is exactly what it sounds like. Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle to create two columns. On the left, list out the top obstacles from your journaling exercise. In the right column, rewrite each of the caveman brain lies as its positive alternative. A TRUTH statement if you will.

Here are some examples from the list I mentioned earlier.

Rewrite “I don’t know how to get started” as “I can figure it out, I just need to decide to try.”

Instead of “What if nobody wants what I’m selling” try “There is a customer for me, I just have to find them.”

The truth statement version of “I need to learn more about how to run a business” would be something like “I can start now and learn as I go.”

“I don’t know if I’m allowed to do it” would be more accurate as “I give myself permission to try… that’s all I need.”

Maybe instead of “I can’t afford to quit my job to run my business” you could say “I can start my business while working my day job.”

Instead of the super common “I’m not ready yet” you might want to start saying “I have everything I need to get started. I’ll feel ‘ready’ when I start doing the work.”

Finally, if you’re being ultra honest and saying “This is all so scary” you could replace it with “I have figured out hard things before, I will figure this out one step at a time. And I don’t have to do it alone.”

The important thing is to know what you’ve been telling yourself that’s kept you stuck and to note the more honest version.

Reprogram

Here’s the big one… it’s time to use those rewritten statements to reprogram your brain. This is where we will take advantage of the virtuous cycle I mentioned earlier.

Tell yourself each of the truth statements you rewrote earlier.

This isn’t a euphemism, I mean really tell yourself each statement. Your brain is listening.

Read each of your truth statements out loud, to yourself at least daily. When you repeat these statements for at least 21 days, they start becoming a new habit in your thought patterns.

This sounds like magic, but it’s not. It is using your brain’s natural wiring to reprogram how it thinks.

I avoided saying this word until now. These truth statements are actually affirmations. Affirmations really work!

Following this process, you can start rewiring your caveman brain in 21 days. Before you know it, DAY ONE will feel a lot less scary.

Day One Doesn’t Have to Be a Lonely Endeavor

One bonus strategy for making your DAY ONE decision a little less scary is to not face it alone.

I’ve helped dozens of people face their DAY ONE, then their second, their third and every one after that, whether it’s a “one day” business or some other big dream. Facing your goals with a partner makes it a little easier.

In a few days, I’m launching Your Business: Day One. This new coaching package is designed to help you turn your “one day” business into DAY ONE in just 60 days.

If you want to be the first to know about Your Business: Day One, join my free Goal Crusher Community today.

Let’s Stop Looking at Day 50 and Get to Day One Together

One thing that triggers my coaching brain like nothing else is when a goal crusher gives up at the starting line.

Why does this happen? Usually it’s because they are so focused on all the steps ahead of them that they forget to take step one. They get so overwhelmed and afraid they are going to do the wrong thing that they end up doing nothing.

This is why I always help my clients focus on progress and not perfection.

When you’re at the starting line, you don’t need to focus on step 50, just step one. And that’s what we’ll do at my next Goal Crusher Coffee Chat.

Progress Before Perfection
You don’t need the whole map, just the next step.

In this informal discussion, I will share a few simple techniques from my coach’s notebook that help my clients stop looking 10 steps into the future and confidently take the first step into their DAY ONE.

Then, in our roundtable discussion, we will each answer one simple question:

What’s one step you could take in the next 24 hours if you stopped waiting for perfect?

If you’re tired of being so overwhelmed at the starting line that you can’t seem to get to DAY ONE, this event is for you.

Did you miss this coffee chat? Don’t panic. I host a new Goal Crusher Coffee Chat every month. Visit OperationMelt.com/CoffeeChat for the details about our next session.

Your caveman brain is going to tell you the same lies again tomorrow, and the day after that. The only thing that changes is whether you believe it. Recognize the lie. Rewrite the truth. Repeat it until it sticks. That’s how you give yourself permission to start DAY ONE and stop waiting for perfection.

You’re here for a reason. Let’s take the next step.

Meet Coach Tony

Tony Weaver is a master life coach, technologist, consultant, writer, and founder of Operation Melt.

He helps project managers and other left-brained high-achievers pursue their biggest goals.

Through free resources, personalized coaching, and his proven Project Manage Your Life system, Tony empowers clients to move their dreams from “someday” to success… one step at a time.

Learn more about Project Manage Your Life, the system my clients and I use to crush our goals, at OperationMelt.com/PMYL/