My Third Life « neverimitate
This review was written for and first published by Bookmunch.
My Third Life is a story about grief, debilitating grief. Narrated by a middle aged woman named Linda, it is set in the few years after her seventeen year old daughter, Sonja, was killed in a road traffic accident. Unlike Richard, Linda’s husband, Sonja was her only child. She had wanted another but Richard, who now had three offspring, was adamant in his refusal until it was too late. Now Linda retreats into herself, resentful and unable to deal with anyone no matter how well meaning, including her husband.
A random encounter outside a hospital leads to Linda renting an old farm property in a village, away from the modern flat she and Richard shared. Alone and therefore free to shut down socially, Linda spends her days looking after the attached land and livestock. Her nights are bearable only through the ingestion of drugs to which her doctor believes she has become addicted. Linda does not care.
Considering how he is being sidelined, Richard remains remarkably loyal until it becomes apparent that the situation may not change. Linda has rejected friends and family, preferring to live within her memories of Sonja, eschewing the comforts and attention she used to value. The thoughts and emotions she shares within these pages are raw and often brutal, especially her assessments of neighbours and former friends.
It is this which gives the story its power; that Linda adamantly will not – cannot – move on with her life after what is considered an acceptable period of mourning. Her bitterness is palpable.
“People tire of other people’s suffering. They lose the inclination to be considerate, want to be able to complain again themselves. Secretly they’re furious that every one of their own problems pales in comparison to mine.”
Linda feels guilt that she was not a better mother now she realises how much she had and took for granted. She struggles with the knowledge that not just Sonja’s future but also hers has been shattered.
The numb despair could be hard to read yet is written in such a way as to draw the reader in.
It is painful to consider that Sonja knew how her mother viewed her and was, as a result, an anxious teenager. There is much to ponder in how parents treat their children, however much their suggestions and demands may be looking to their child’s future in well meaning ways.
A potent inclusion details an encounter Linda has with one of Sonja’s friends. The girl has changed, moved in a new direction as teenagers will, and in doing so has rejected her parents. Linda will never know if Sonja might have done likewise.
The second part of the book takes Linda into another phase when she must move out of the farmhouse and opts to return to town. In some ways this is a step forward with her life but still she rejects the old friends she had, bluntly telling them why. Her ability to live without the usual social niceties has repercussions, and she accepts the fallout.
Richard remains in the background and his experiences at this time eventually pierce the armour Linda has built – he too grieved and is suffering the impact. Occasional regrets Linda now harbours are perhaps a sign of survival. Richard’s eventual selfishness is understandable if not admirable.
Any Cop?: Not an easy read due to the subject matter but still written in a way that is effortlessly engaging. It may be difficult to like Linda due to her behaviour but only the hardest of hearts could castigate her given what she must deal with.
Jackie Law
