“What is the best use of each day of our lives?” – Pema Chödrön
This might feel like a daunting or even unanswerable question. There’s so much we could do with our days, but what is the best use of that time?
It’s a question you might think about as you lie in bed, trying to remember what you even did that day.
Where did the time go? Did I do anything that felt meaningful? Am I just living the same day over and over again?
I ask myself these questions after my to-do list is tended to. In those moments of doing nothing, my mind starts to wander.
Why is it this way?
Because when we’re doing nothing, our inner autopilot can finally shut off.
And when autopilot shuts off, we’re left with the realization that we’re not being intentional with our time or actions.
Chödrön says we are in our cocoons of habitualness—the cocoon of worry and being caught up in our own thoughts.
Even after we’ve been through big life changes, we eventually find ourselves back in our own habits and routines.
But the problem is not that we are living the same day over and over again. The problem is how habitual our minds are. The mind keeps us stuck in our comfort zone, so we feel this sense of sameness from day to day.
If we can interrupt the habitual mind, we can slowly but surely break our own patterns and begin to find meaning in each day.
Let’s talk about how a mindful pause can help us stop rushing through our days on autopilot.
The habitual mind (and life)
How much of our day do we lose to overthinking?
How much do we lose to repeating the same thoughts in our heads, day after day?
The cocoon inside my brain focuses on the question, “Am I doing the right thing with my life?”
I can focus on the same thought for weeks and months, never getting any new answers.
Heidi Priebe mentioned, “There is no such thing as overthinking. There is only thinking badly.”
Thinking badly could mean that our minds are trying to figure out something that:
- has no real answer
- has an answer, but it’s not the answer we want
- has an answer, but we don’t have enough information to come to a conclusion.
Let’s say I become aware that I’m repeatedly thinking the same thought.
That’s a good first step, but soon another pattern emerges.
Next, I find myself wondering, “Why do I always think there’s something wrong with me or my life?”
Perhaps part of the problem with our “cocoons” is that we burrow ourselves too deeply into seeing things one way.
There’s a whole world happening around us, but we don’t even notice it because we’re stuck in the habitual mind. Sometimes we need a perspective shift to help us see that there are other possibilities we’re not even aware of yet.
Chödrön says, “Drop the storyline you are working so hard to maintain.”
This is to say: stop holding on to how you think things should be and let yourself be.
Read Next: How We Find Meaning by Putting Ourselves In Boxes
The power of a pause
To emerge from our cocoons, we can focus on creating gaps between our habitual tendencies.
According to Chödrön, a gap is a mindful pause in your day to just breathe. All you need to do is take three deep breaths. It sounds easy, but the hardest part is remembering to do it.
When we pause, we interrupt the habitualness of our minds and our bodies. Autopilot cannot keep leading the way if we disengage from it.
“Our habits are strong, so a certain discipline is required to step outside our cocoon and receive the magic of our surroundings. The pause practice — the practice of taking three conscious breaths at any moment when we notice that we are stuck — is a simple but powerful practice that each of us can do at any given moment.” – Pema Chödrön
One way to think of mindful gaps is like adding punctuation to your day. During the day, you might need a comma to breathe for air. At the end of the day, you need a period to close out that day as if it were a sentence, paragraph, or chapter (you get to decide which one).
We need moments of spaciousness in our lives, even when it feels we should be busy with something else.
The more we pause and notice, the less likely we are to ruminate on the same thoughts or feel as if we are experiencing the same day over and over.
3 ways to take a mindful pause
Here are some practical tips for introducing a mindful pause into your daily routine:
1. Take three breaths
Chödrön recommends this pause practice: take three conscious breaths at any moment when you feel stuck.
When you recognize that you’re thinking something repeatedly or when you physically can’t figure out what to do next, take three conscious breaths.
When transitioning from one task to another, take three deep breaths. These breaths will interrupt the autopilot that keeps you from the present moment.
2. Create a wind-down ritual
Our days start to blend into one another when we do the same things without intention, especially when we don’t have boundaries between our work and personal time.
To break up the monotony, try introducing a wind-down ritual that you treat as an intentional pause at the end of the day. Corey McComb describes this as an aperitif to punctuate your day.
A specific activity or combination of activities (like listening to your favorite playlist while you prepare dinner) can signal to your brain that it’s time to switch off and break out of the habitual thought pattern of work-related worries.
3. Plan (and appreciate) things you can look forward to
Romanticizing your life is a popular trend where you take the mundane and turn it into something worth savoring.
One way to do this is to think about three things you would be excited to do tomorrow. Each night before you go to bed, list three things you can look forward to when you wake up.
They can be as small as texting a friend, listening to a good playlist, or grabbing a treat from a bakery. This way of thinking can interrupt the habitual mind and get you out of your cocoon.
How can you take a mindful pause today?
By taking a mindful pause in our daily routines, we can interrupt our autopilot tendencies and start living more intentionally. The more you pause, the more you can enjoy.
