45 Key Bible Verses about Self-Control

In a world that encourages instant gratification, self-control can feel like an ancient, old-fashioned concept.  After all, what place does self-control have if all I want is to follow my heart, live my own truth, and do whatever makes me happy?

In this post, we will look at several bible verses about self-control and learn why God wants us to have self-control in the first place.

What is Self-Control?

The basic definition of self-control is the ability to regulate one’s own impulses, emotions, and behavior.

According to Psychology Today, self-control is primarily rooted in the prefrontal cortex—the brain’s planning, problem-solving, and decision-making center. The richness of nerve connections in the prefrontal cortex enables people to plan, evaluate alternative actions, and ideally avoid doing things they’ll later regret, rather than immediately respond to every impulse as it arises.

The ability to exert self-control is often referred to as willpower. It allows people to direct their attention despite the presence of competing stimuli, and it underlies all kinds of achievement, from school to the workplace, and benefits relationships as well. 

There is debate over the extent to which self-control is an innate individual difference or a learned skill.

What Does the Bible Say About Self-Control?

According to Scripture, self-control is a powerful and necessary virtue.  There are three key things the Bible teaches us about self-control.

1. God Wants Us to Practice Self-Control

Just in case you have started drinking some of the ‘follow your heart’ Kool-Aid that secular culture offers, let me reassure you—God absolutely wants us to practice self-control:

• For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good. Titus 2:11-14 NIV
• For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.  2 Peter 1:5-8 NIV
• So prepare your minds for action and exercise self-control. Put all your hope in the gracious salvation that will come to you when Jesus Christ is revealed to the world. So you must live as God’s obedient children. Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn’t know any better then.  1 Peter 1:13-14 NLT

In the first-century church, the Apostle Paul even made it a point in his letters to church leaders to teach and instruct everyone (men, women, youth, overseers, etc.) to practice self-control:

• Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach.  1 Timothy 3:2 NIV
• Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.  Titus 2:2 NIV
• Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled.  Titus 2:6 NIV
• Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.  Titus 2:4-5 NIV

In sharp contrast, Paul also gave a very descriptive warning about how non-Christians will behave in the last days, with NO self-control:

You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be tough times.  For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred.  They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good.

2 Timothy 3:1-3 NLT

If we are honest, we see this happening all over the globe.  But if we are not careful, as Christians, we will begin to embrace the very things that God deems as sinful.  And lack of self-control is one of those things.

God’s ultimate purpose for us, is to conform us to the image of Christ:

• And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. Romans 8:28-29 NIV
• He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time.  2 Timothy 1:9 NIV
• Dear friends, you always followed my instructions when I was with you. And now that I am away, it is even more important. Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.  Philippians 2:12-13 NLT

If we want to be more like Jesus, then we must follow His example.  And he gave us many examples of self-control.  One of my favorites is when he was arrested. 

Peter, one of his disciples, pulled out his sword in Jesus’ honor and struck one of the captors, cutting off his ear.  Jesus’ response to him was:

“Put away your sword,” Jesus told him. “Those who use the sword will die by the sword. Don’t you realize that I could ask my Father for thousands of angels to protect us, and he would send them instantly? But if I did, how would the Scriptures be fulfilled that describe what must happen now?”

Matthew 26:53-54 NLT

Sent to earth to carry out the Father’s will, Jesus lived a sinless life to set an example for us, and died for our sins so that we may have eternal life.  He knew what he was sent to do. And despite being God in the flesh, full of power and authority, He demonstrated self-control on every occasion, submitting to the Father’s perfect plan.

And we are called to do the same. The good news is that God always equips us for everything He requires from us.

2. God Has Equipped Every Christian to Exercise Self-Control

As Christians, the Holy Spirit dwells in us, which means we have divine power and help from above to do things that we couldn’t do otherwise.  This includes the power to exercise self-control. 

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. 

2 Timothy 1:7 ESV

And because self-control is a fruit of the Spirit, it’s something that we can grow in and develop as we learn to walk closely with God:

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!  

Galatians 5:22-23 NLT

While non-Christians rely solely on internal willpower to exercise self-control, we have been empowered by the Holy Spirit to exercise self-control that actually pleases God, and not just ourselves.

And the best part is that God ensures that we will never be tempted above what we can bear.  Through the power of His Holy Spirit we have everything we need to resist temptation, exercise self-control, and obey God.  If and when we do fall into temptation or sin, it is because we choose to walk in the flesh and satisfy our own desires instead of walking in the Spirit.  But even then, God always provides a way out:

• And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.  James 1:13-15 NLT
• The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure. 1 Corinthians 10:13 NLT

As Christians, we can’t get away with saying we have no self-control, because we have the very spirit of self-control living in us.  We just have to learn to choose to live by the Spirit instead of our flesh daily:

So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. 

Galatians 5:16-17, 19-20a NLT

Learning to practice self-control will not only help us resist temptation and avoid sin, but it will also help us to avoid the lasting and damaging effects that can result from a lack of self-control.

3. A Lack of Self-Control Has Consequences

Remember, the basic definition of self-control is the ability to regulate one’s own impulses, emotions, and behavior.  So when we don’t exercise self-control and just allow our emotions and desires to dictate our behavior, we set ourselves up for misery and regret.

A lack of self-control can have a serious effect on so many areas of our lives – our health, relationships, employment, finances, future, and even our relationship with God. This is why Scripture warns against a lack of self-control:

• Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.  Proverbs 12:6 NIV
• A man without self-control is as defenseless as a city with broken-down walls.  Proverbs 25:28 TLB
• Better to be patient than powerful; better to have self-control than to conquer a city.  Proverbs 16:32 NLT

Here are several consequences that could result from a lack of self-control:

• easily falling into temptation
• regretful life-altering decisions
• trouble maintaining a job and money problems
• becoming easily angered and quick to react
• a damaged reputation
• broken and unhealthy relationships
• addictive patterns and compulsive behaviors
• spiritual attacks
• vulnerability to the negative influence of others
• physical and mental health issues

Contrary to what culture teaches about ‘doing whatever makes you happy’, people who struggle with a lack of self-control and just live by their feelings and impulses, often have feelings of hopelessness and despair.  As a matter of fact, a lack of self-control can even lead to harmful behaviors like substance abuse, alcoholism, gluttony, gambling, and even violence.

As Christians, we must be on guard for things in our lives that we view as just ‘habits we’ve picked up’, or saying things like ‘that’s just how I am’ or ‘that’s how I’ve always been’.   If our habits or actions are sinful and/or harmful, it doesn’t matter if that’s how you’ve always been – we need to work to correct them in obedience to God.

Too often, we become accustomed to certain behaviors that make it harder for us to break free later on.

One of the biggest spiritual deceptions about a lack of self-control is the attitude of “what I’m doing isn’t harming anyone”.  Oftentimes, the person being harmed is YOU.   In fact, it’s something that may not only be harming you, but killing you slowly, without you even realizing it. 

Or worse, when you do know it’s hurting you but keep doing it anyway.  That, my brother or sister, is the very definition of an addiction.

Scripture has nothing good to say about a lack of self-control:

• An evil man is held captive by his own sins; they are ropes that catch and hold him.  He will die for lack of self-control; he will be lost because of his great foolishness.  Proverbs 5:22-23 NLT
• The [arrogant] fool’s anger is quickly known [because he lacks self-control and common sense],
  But a prudent man ignores an insult.  Proverbs 12:6 AMP
• A quick-tempered man acts foolishly and without self-control, and a man of wicked schemes is hated.  Proverbs 14:17 AMP
• A man of great anger will bear the penalty [for his quick temper and lack of self-control]; For if you rescue him [and do not let him learn from the consequences of his action], you will only have to rescue him over and over again.  Proverbs 19:19 AMP
• Nevertheless, God was not well-pleased with most of them, for they were scattered along the ground in the wilderness [because their lack of self-control led to disobedience which led to death].  1 Corinthians 10:5 AMP

The Bible has numerous examples of people who lacked self-control:

• Adam and Eve, who were driven out of the Garden of Eden after succumbing to the temptation of eating the forbidden fruit (Genesis 3)
• The Israelites, who were punished for their lack of faith after impatiently demanding the golden calf in Moses’ absence (Exodus 32)
• King Saul, who was rejected by God as King of Israel after he gave in to the temptation of witchcraft and disobeyed God’s commands (1 Samuel 15)
• King David, who was a ‘man after God’s own heart’, committed adultery and murder when he was led astray by lust (2 Samuel 11-12)
• Solomon, whom God blessed with wisdom and wealth, tragically allowed himself to be drawn away by foreign gods, women, and pagan worship (1 Kings 11)

A lack of self-control hinders our ability to follow God’s instructions because our attention and thoughts shift toward our desires rather than toward God. This can lead to discontentment with our circumstances and discontentment with God’s truths and plans for our lives.

This is why it is very important that we learn to practice self-control as Christians. Let’s take a look at the three key areas in which we are to exercise self-control.

Three Key Areas in Which to Exercise Self-Control

Before we came to accept Christ as Lord and Savior, the Bible tells us that we were slaves to sin.  But as children of God, we have become slaves of righteousness. 

Now you are free from your slavery to sin, and you have become slaves to righteous living. 

Romans 6:18 NLT

If I, as a Christian, now have the power to overcome my flesh and not continue to be a slave to my sinful impulses, emotions, and desires, why wouldn’t I want to learn to exercise that very power?

For when we learn to live by the Spirit of God within us, the Spirit will guide our decisions, and we can learn to exercise self-control in our words, thoughts, and actions.

1. Self-Controlled Words

James compared the tongue to a small spark that can set a whole forest on fire:

And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself. People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! 

James 3:6-10 NLT

The words that come out of our mouths have power because what we say has influence.  And that influence can be positive or negative.  Therefore, we must learn to be self-controlled with our words.  This means we must think before we speak and learn to choose our words carefully.

We live in a world that teaches us to say whatever is on our minds, with no filter or regard for those around us.  Secular culture promotes gossip, slander, lying, rudeness, dirty jokes, derogatory speech that offends, and abusive and profane language.  And then will turn around and classify all of it under the umbrella of “freedom of speech”.

But as Christians, we are called to live by a very different standard.  And the Bible gives a ton of guidance regarding exercising self-control in our speech:

• Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. Proverbs 21:23 NIV
• Self-control means controlling the tongue! A quick retort can ruin everything.  Proverbs 13:3 TLB
• Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.  James 1:19 NLT
• A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret. Proverbs 11:13
• Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God.  Ephesians 5:4 NLT
• Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.  Ephesians 4:29 NLT
• Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling lies. Psalm 34:13 NIV
• Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32 NIV

As Christians, we are not called to just speak our minds at any given time.  On the contrary, we are called to know when to speak and when to listen.  We are to exercise wisdom and choose our words carefully.  Rather than adding to the negativity, harshness, and obscenities that secular culture constantly produces, we are to be kind, compassionate, helpful, and encouraging with our words.

Yes, there are times when we should be angry.  Anger is not a sin. However, we must be careful with how we express our anger, as it can become sinful.

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. 

Ephesians 4:26 NIV

Now this is easier said than done, but that’s why God gave us His Holy Spirit.  Because we absolutely CANNOT exercise self-control in a way that pleases God on our own.

2. Self-Controlled Thoughts

Just like the tongue, our minds are a powerful thing.  When we allow negative, impure, or anxious thoughts to run unchecked in our heads, they can lead to a lack of self-control and sinful behaviors.

This is why the Bible teaches us to “take every thought captive” and remind ourselves that we can overcome our lack of self-control by the power of the Holy Spirit.

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have the divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 NIV

As Christians, we must learn to acknowledge our negative and sinful thoughts and shift our mindset and focus to things that please God.

Our sinful nature is prone to thoughts that are full of things like worry, stress, doubt, anger, frustration, insecurity, loneliness, jealousy, and greed.

But Scripture is very clear regarding the things we should be thinking about:  

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Philippians 4:8 NLT

Shifting our mindsets requires spending time in God’s Word regularly, as that is the only thing that can change our old way of thinking and conform us to having thoughts that please God.

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Romans 12:2 NLT

The more we learn God’s Word, the more we can walk in the Spirit and exercise self-control over our thoughts.  And the more we control our thoughts, the more we can fix our mindset on the promises of Scriptures instead of the lies of the enemy:

• We must keep our eyes on Jesus, who leads us and makes our faith complete.  Hebrews 12:2a NIV
• Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me.  John 14:1 NIV
• Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6-7 NIV
• The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.  Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV
• And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 NIV

3. Self-Controlled Actions

Lastly, we are also called to exercise self-control over our actions. That means controlling impulses and behaviors like anger, laziness, greed, or lust.

Exercising self-control over our actions helps us live out our faith in tangible ways.  Paul described the road to living a self-controlled life best:

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.  

1 Corinthians 9:24-27 ESV

Self-control requires us to discipline ourselves.  Other versions of this bible verse say ‘I beat or punish my body and make it my slave’.  Remember, we used to be slaves to sin and ruled by our fleshly desires.  But now we have the power of the Holy Spirit within us.  That doesn’t mean the old nature is gone, but it does mean that now we can engage in a fight against what our old nature wants. And by the Spirit of God, we can win!

Self-control is a daily, ongoing battle with our flesh that requires us to spiritually whip our bodies into submission to God.  As Christians, we can’t claim ignorance or lack of resources to do this, because God has fully equipped us with everything we need to be self-controlled Christians:

• His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 2 Peter 1:3 NIV
• I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:12-13 NIV

Pray for More Self-Control

Through the power of the Holy Spirit, we can learn to exercise self-control in any aspect of our lives.  So, let’s stop making excuses and letting society deceive us into thinking we cannot exhibit self-control. Instead, let us pray for more self-control in obedience to God.

Let us spend more time in God’s Word so that we can fill our minds with the truths of Scripture that will further equip us to fight the temptations of our flesh.  And when we do fall short, let us learn to talk to God about it and ask for help and strength to walk in the Spirit and exercise the self-control that God requires of us.

Let us pray as David did:

May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. 

Psalm 19:14 NIV

“Lord, I thank You for the gift of self-control. I confess the times I’ve let my emotions or desires control me instead of submitting to You. Increase in me the fruit of self-control—over my words, my thoughts, and my actions. Help me to walk in obedience. Make me more like you, day by day. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

BE SURE TO READ PART 2: – 7 Essential Ways to Develop More Self-Control as a Christian

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Demetra is a busy, self-employed, single mom who loves Jesus and is a fanatic about prioritizing her time with God!  She created In the Mirror of God to help other Christian women learn how regularly looking into our spiritual mirror (the Bible) equips us to cultivate a deeper relationship with God, think biblically about everything, conquer the challenges of everyday life, and truly enjoy life to the fullest, the way God intended.  Go here to learn more about her story, or visit her contact page to send a quick message.

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