Honestly, I have been staying up way past my bedtime. I can’t sleep at night! I dont know how to go to bed ontime or what it feels like anymore!! Ive been in and out of emotions…I visit my siblings pages with grand disbelief! I feel like one day I’ll just wake up and they’ll be calling me…I’m becoming partially delusional about it…I’m having a hardtime with this because I wish it was FAKE NEWS!!
Knowing that my sister was brave and courageous enough to advocate for mental health while still fighting a war of her own only to still lose…and so young!!!! She posted about depression and battling addiction in 2017 and passed away three years later!!
I hate that addiction robbed her and my brother from seeing their true beauty. I hate that hope wasn’t louder than their pain. I hate that they were so young and didn’t get to embrace the gifts and resilience they had. I hate that my siblings had to deal with their inner pain alone! I hate that instead of proper healing they were manipulated by broken systems! I wish they understood how much I loved them!
I’ll admit I was oblivious to how deeply rooted their suffering was!!! It’s bittersweet that the only way they found peace was to leave, it’s bittersweet accepting that they are finally at peace but my nieces and nephew have to grow up without them physically being in their lives. It’s bittersweet knowing they were one Narcan injection away from having a second chance at life! This shxt is BITTER FUXN SWEET!
They aren’t suffering, but I know the people who GENUINELY WANTED THE BEST FOR THEM…we are confused, we are hurt!
I’ve lost THE BEST OF MY PEOPLE TO ADDICTION & I’m just tired of it! If I could go back in time and bring yall back I would! I understand we are all trying to make it everyday through oppression. I know life is unpredictable and being misunderstood and abused can get to you, but I firmly believe that JEHOVAH DECIDES WHO YOU ARE & IS ALWAYS WAITING TO HELP! I just…IDK 😔
Rest in Peace to my sweet and supportive sister and my protective and funny brother 🩵🩷😭
