It’s interesting to hear you connect that to this idea of tenderness because I think one of the few places in your music you don’t restrict yourself is when you’re getting lyrical and talking about relationships or how you’re feeling in these very explicit terms. What is your writing process like right now, and how do you decide what to hone in on specifically?
I have always been a “gibberish first, lyrics later” type writer. I’m not writing poetry and then figuring out how the melody could fit the lyric. I am working in the opposite way. So I will change a lyric, or I will try to find a lyric to satisfy phrasing. I care more about vocal phrasing, even down to vowel sounds. Like, “the vowel has to be ooh, it can’t be ow, it’s not ow,” you know what I mean? And that is something that I’m often having to deal with.
When it comes to lyrics, I am thinking about the feeling. And oftentimes when I’m singing in gibberish over the instrumental, there are word sounds and words that come out. So I am always deciphering on some level what it is that I’m trying to say, and the meaning is usually produced through those words and word sounds. And sometimes, I don’t even know how I know, but I’ll just be like, “well obviously this gave this.” Like, I’m not saying anything – but I know exactly what the fuck I’m saying. That’s kind of a recurring thing for me.
With “Point Blank,” I don’t even know how or why. I just kept my first improvised line: the guns are pointed at me. And I was like, “but it’s a club banger.” And I said this to Oscar [Scheller] and I was like, “This song sounds sexy and I don’t know where that’s coming from.” And then he was like, “But the bullet set me free.” And I was like, [mimes shocked head turn]. And it’s so interesting, I had a conflict in that moment of being like, “Oh, no, I don’t want to be a Debbie Downer on a song that feels so uptempo.” But that’s kind of the thing about me: I am trying to insert something real into what feels like fantasy. And for this song, I think what really gave me permission was the bridge. We went straight for the bridge and it was just so sexy and I was like,”Okay, this is the flip.” Like, if that part is bitter taste in my mouth, this part is the payoff. Like, it can’t be all bad. Why would you keep fucking with these people if it was all bad?
That’s the type of song I’ve always wanted to write, songs where the real complexity in our life experience is articulated, even in one song. So most of the song is like, I’m sick of your shit, I hate this, this is so annoying. You guys are so annoying. Y’all ain’t shit. But then the bridge is this payoff, the moment where you’re making physical contact and there’s so much gratification in that. So I do take a longer time to write lyrics than a lot of people because I’m trying to craft this type of meaning.
