By Russell Roybal
Guest Author, Rockwood Board Chair and Executive Vice President & Chief Impact Officer at the National Committee for Responsive Philanthropy, Russell Roybal, shares his thoughts on the leaders we need now in this month’s blog writing.
“Russell will never be a great leader.”
Those words cut like a knife. And had an even deeper impact because they came from someone I looked up to and admired. It was hard to let it go. Why would someone who knew me, and I thought respected me and my leadership, think that. I spent a lot of emotional energy trying to figure out why.
As I continued to unpack it, I realized something about the person who said it. Their vision of a great leader was white, masculine, authoritative and highly individualistic, someone who took up a lot of space. All things I am not. I didn’t fit the mold. This person wasn’t alone in their thinking.
There is a troubling pattern that repeats itself across politics, business, advocacy organizations, and even our own social movements. We elevate leaders whose greatest talent is not service, vision, or collaboration, but self-promotion. We hand microphones, resources, and authority to people who know how to command attention, and then we act surprised when their leadership becomes destructive. Boards of directors often fall into this trap when choosing a new leader for their organizations.
Narcissistic leaders often rise because they project confidence. They speak in absolutes. They present themselves as uniquely qualified to solve complex problems. In moments of uncertainty, that certainty can feel reassuring. Communities, organizations, and institutions facing challenges are naturally drawn to people who appear decisive and strong.
But confidence and competence are not the same thing.
Healthy leadership is rooted in accountability. It requires listening, humility, a willingness to share power, and develop and mentor who’s next. Narcissistic leadership, by contrast, is built around personal validation. The mission gradually becomes secondary to the leader’s image. Decisions are made not because they benefit the community, but because they reinforce the leader’s status and control.
The consequences can be profound.
When narcissistic leaders dominate organizations, dissent is often treated as disloyalty. Constructive criticism becomes a threat rather than an opportunity for improvement. Talented people leave because their contributions are ignored or diminished. Innovation suffers because everyone is expected to support the leader’s narrative rather than engage in honest problem-solving.
The damage extends beyond internal culture. Communities begin to lose trust in institutions that appear more interested in protecting personalities than delivering results. Public confidence erodes. Relationships fracture. Resources that should be directed toward meaningful solutions are instead consumed by managing conflict, repairing reputational damage, or accommodating the leader’s need for attention.
Perhaps most concerning is how frequently we reward these behaviors. Modern culture often confuses visibility with value. Social media algorithms, media coverage, and political incentives can amplify the loudest voices rather than the most thoughtful ones. Individuals who are skilled at creating spectacle receive disproportionate attention, while collaborative and community-centered leaders remain overlooked.
We need a different standard.
Leadership should not be measured by how many followers someone has, how often they appear in headlines, or how effectively they dominate a room. It should be measured by outcomes. Did they strengthen the organization? Did they develop new leaders? Did they create systems that outlasted their tenure? Did they leave the community, the movement better than they found it?
The strongest leaders are often those who understand that leadership is not about being the center of attention. It’s about building collective power, creating opportunities for others to succeed, and recognizing that no individual is more important than the mission or the people being served.
If we want healthier organizations, stronger communities, and more effective institutions, we must stop rewarding narcissism and start investing in leadership grounded in humility, accountability, and shared responsibility. The future depends not on finding the loudest voice in the room, but on elevating those who know how to listen, collaborate, and serve.
At Rockwood we have great leaders in abundance, those who know how to live and lead on their purpose, to center joy and community, and to invest in who comes next.
