2024 Reflections – ItsJaiMarie
As the year comes to an end, I’ve been in a space of deep reflection. 2024 was nothing I expected it to be. What started as a promising year quickly became filled with loss and heartache. Like many, I felt optimistic about this year and knew it would be “my year”. At the beginning of the year, I had a good job and was ending an internship that would be transitioning into a contract position, excelling in school, and dating the love of my life. By February, I watched my entire life fall apart. I faced the most difficult heartbreak I’ve ever experienced and it left me completely shattered. I spent months crying every day, barely able to function. I lost my job because I couldn’t get out of bed. I saw myself go from happy + thriving, to lost and broken. It took a while, but eventually, I began piecing myself back together. I started experiencing more moments of joy again and one day realized, I no longer felt sorrowful and broken. Today, I still feel like I’m grieving and healing from the heartache, but I’ve learned how not to stay stuck in the hurt, anger, or depression. I allow myself to feel and honor my emotions, but I keep going.
While this year wasn’t perfect, I’m coming out of it a better version of myself. I had to get to know myself all over again because I lost who I was in the woman I was dating. For a while, I kept trying to get back to the version of myself I was while with her, but I realized that I’d never be that version of myself again. I had to relearn who I am. I started going on solo dates and spending intentional time with myself. I started pouring into me in ways I never have. I even started seeing a new therapist who has been such a helpful addition to my journey. The healing journey is non-linear. I still have days when the pain feels all-consuming. I still have a lot of questions that I may never have answers to and I’m learning to accept that. In the past month, I’ve been practicing radical acceptance during daily meditation and implementing it into various aspects of my life. Radical acceptance is the concept of fully accepting reality exactly as it is, without judgment, even when it’s difficult. It’s about acknowledging that a situation occurred, but can’t be altered. Learning to accept things as they are has offered me some peace of mind.
Though I suffered many low moments this year, there were also a few highs. I celebrated my 26th birthday back in June and that day was beautifully curated. I met Chapter 26 with immense gratitude and joy. I spent the day with one of my close friends at a botanical garden and then we had a picnic. I was able to fully immerse myself in nature – walking barefoot on the grass, hugging and talking to trees, feeling the sun kiss my skin, and eating delicious vegan food. The day set the tone for what I want my life to feel like. Soft + easeful. Another highlight was changing my major to psychology. I’m finally pursuing my childhood dream of becoming a therapist. For so long, I allowed fear to hold me back from going after what I wanted. It feels good to be working towards my long-term goals. In addition to these things, I signed up for the gym a few months ago and I’m loving the progress I’ve made both physically and mentally since then. I also obtained my learner’s permit and started taking driving lessons, which is a huge accomplishment considering I’ve always had a fear of driving. There were other highs this year that I prefer to keep private as I’ve learned that not all my blessings need to be talked about.
With the state my mental health was in for most of 2024, I neglected my blog. For the past nine years, I’ve worked diligently on my blog ensuring it’s a safe space to discuss mental health and spirituality. Not being able to devote my attention to it has been hard, but I have so many posts planned for 2025.
I’m excited to witness myself continue evolving into the woman I desire to be and I’m looking forward to returning to blogging.
As a collective, 2024 was a hard year for many of us. It’s ok if you spent most of this year just trying to survive. I hope that in 2025, you not only survive but thrive. I encourage you to carve out time for reflection before this year ends. Here are some reflection questions:
- What lessons did you learn this year?
- What are you most proud of this year?
- What brought you joy?
- What did you let go of?
- What didn’t go well this year?
- What have you learned about yourself this year?
- What are your intentions for 2025?
Happy New Year!
